nihilism (miya chinen x reader)

TUTORING/// CHAPTER ONE

"y/n? are you awake?"

you heard the voice well, given the fact you had been up all night doing who knows what. but, like always, you resorted to pretending.

"i know you are."

you heard a sigh before feeling a weight at the end of your bed.

"i know you don't want to go to school, but you have to. do you really want go repeat 8th grade? besides, it would be a good distraction, no?"

sighing, you opened your eyes and stared at your mother, who was sitting at the end of your bed. you rolled your eyed at the pleading look she had on her face, but sat up none the less.

"i put your uniform on the chair. do you want any breakfast?"

you threw the blanket off you, and stood up before shaking your head.

"no thank you, just get out so i can change."

she sent you a sad smile before standing up and showing herself out, closing the door behind her. you couldn't stop the sigh that left your lips, not like you had tried very hard. picking up your uniform, you couldn't help but stare at it. it wasn't often you wore it, surprisingly enough. you really did go to school as often as you could, it wasn't your fault the hospital was so insistent on keeping you. of course, it wasn't like the school really cared, so you had gotten pretty accustomed to the bad grades on your report card.

shaking the thoughts out of your head, you quickly changed into your uniform. you sighed, once again, pulling up your long socks and shoving your shoes onto your feet. you found that wearing stockings were much easier than bandaging your legs to hide all the scars there. you weren't exactly ashamed of them, you just weren't really in the mood to explain them to all the kids at school. they certainly were nosey. your arms on the other hand, were scabs, so you settled for bandages there. since you were absent so often, most people just seemed to assume you were in fights a lot.

you turned, looking at the hair brush that sat on your night stand. ah, fuck it. you knew your mom would just send you back up to brush it anyways, might as well not waste your own time. you brushed your hair and walked into the bathroom to brush your teeth too. man, it was already an eventful day, having a morning routine was quite rare for you. finally, you threw on a black jacket. you knew it wasn't cold outside, but none the less you couldn't help but put it on. maybe you were begging for something to make you stand out.

attention whore

"y/n, hurry, it's almost time to go. you don't want to be late!!"

you snapped out of your thoughts and rolled your eyes once again, you didn't even want to show up, what would you care about being late? none the less, you walked downstairs. grabbing your backpack off the floor, you walked into the kitchen.

"alright, i'll go. why so desperate to get rid of me?" you teased, part of you always enjoyed how offended your mom got at the snarky comments you made.

"you know that's not the case! your sister wanted to say bye, she's in the living room."

you let out an over-dramatic sigh, placing your hand on your forehead

"you ask so much of me, madame! i guess i can make an exception, but only because it's on my way!"

she simply shook her head at your act as you walked into the living room.

"big sister!! good luck at school today!"

the small girl jumped on you, giving you a hug. you simply returned it with a noogie.

"yeah yeah kiddo, keep mom company, k?"

"i will! have a good day!! i love you!"

you just smiled before announcing that you were leaving, and walking out the door. it was the type of day you liked, cloudy but not raining. it wasn't wet, nor was it too bright. you quickly plugged in your head phones and jammed them in your ear, shuffling your playlist on your phone. luckily, you lived moderately close too the school, maybe an 8 minute walk, if that. the closer you got to school, the more littered it became with other students. your eyes flicked between them all, but still, none caught your eye. you knew you weren't supposed to judge people on their appearances, but why did you care. it's not like they'd notice, anyways.

judgmental bitch. what right do you have to complain about other people?

the walk was uneventful, which you couldn't say surprised you. you walked into the school, looking around. you were pretty sure you remembered you locker, at least. walking in the direction of the lockers, you finally found one with a lock you recognized. you input the code, and thankfully, it opened.

man, it really had been awhile. you put your backpack inside before changing your shoes. sighing, you stared inside the locker. you couldn't help but feel like you didn't belong here.

"l/n-san?"

you turned to the teacher standing beside you, trying to pretend like you were interested in what she had to say.

"hi! it's nice to see you! you had a schedule change while you were gone, has anyone told you that?"

"ah, no ma'am. i'm sorry."

"no no dear, not your fault! i'm your new algebra teacher, mrs. hina. you know where the principal office is right? you can head down there and they should have your schedule."

with the way she was speaking to you, you were sure she was aware of your situation. you smiled before responding

"yes, i know where it is. thank you, mrs. hina. i look forward to being in your class."

liar.

she smiled and nodded before walking away. you closed your locker and began making your way to the principal office. you really didn't remember where it was, but there were signs in the hallway, so it's not like you wouldn't be able to find it.

you had proven yourself correct as you knocked on the door to the office. school hadn't started yet, so you assumed he wasn't busy.

"come in."

ah, you always hated the principal. he didn't give off good vibes, and he was honestly quite intimidating.

"ah. l/n-san. what can i help you with?"

he was asking a question, but it still sounded more like a demand. maybe even a threat. creep.

"my apologies for disrupting you, sir. i was told i got a schedule change. do you have my new schedule?"

he sighed, and stared at you for a second. almost as if he didn't believe you. was he judging you? you began to fiddle with your fingers, almost scared as to what he'd say next.

"i supposed i can print it out for you. have a seat, l/n-san. i need to speak with you."

please don't be a pedophile please don't be a pedophile.

you remained silent as you took a seat in front of him, he was typing something on his computer. a few seconds passed before you heard the printer in the corner of the room go off. he stood up, getting the paper before walking back over to you. he handed it to you before he began speaking again.

"i'm sure you've realized, your grades are declining. and considering you've been absent for the past, what, two weeks? i highly doubt they'll get any better"

ouch.

"i- i understand."

"now now, calm down. i'm just recommending some extra help, a tutor to be more specific."

"o-oh! that, um-"

he didn't seem concerned with what he had to say, as he cut you off.

"your mother already agreed. go to the library after school. we'll have someone there for you."

ah. nice.

"yes sir, i will."

the bell rang, and the announcements for the day began playing.

"you heard the bell. please get to class as soon as possible l/n-san. you're already late."

"right, yes, sir."

you stood up, making checking your schedule before making leaving the room, hoping to find your new class.

tutoring?