I'm Sorry (Izuku x Reader)

Chapter 13

1:14 how the hell did I sleep till 1:14. I sighed. Yeah, maybe I am on break but I shouldn't be sleeping until one frickin fourteen. I sit up on the bed. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Yesterday there was absolutely no thrill. How about we spice things up today. Hmmm...still no idea. I scrolled through tiktok, as one does when bored, and found a video titled "I MADE A FAKE TINDER ACCOUNT" Bingo! I downloaded Tinder on my phone and mad!e a fake account. My name was Scarlett Laurens. I put my age as 27 the usual age for all my imagination OCs since I can't draw.

My bio said:

History and epic anime nerd. I don't discriminate between sinners and saints, but I want someone spicy. I'll take anything really. Favorite anime is Attack on Titan and my favorite historical figure is Mr. John Laurens. Peep the last name. Hit me with your best shot.

God I can't wait for the chaos to begin. I decide to take a nap until something happened. I woke up three hours later. 5:57. Huh. I looked at my phone and had no notifications. Darn. This'll take longer then I thought. I decide to lay back down and just imagine whatever scenario I want. I chose to fantisis about a siren me x Tanjiro. Of course this wasn't of the time Demon Slayer actually takes place. It was a midevil setting. As this scenario went on, Tanjiro's hair started turning green, he became a little more lighter, his facial structure changed, he had grown freckles, his eyes turned a bright emerald green, and finally his voice had changed.

He looked and sounded like Izuku, but for some reason, I liked this more. Never in a million years did I think I'd fall in love with you, Izuku. Just at the thought of his smile, his embrace, my chest felt fuzzy. I never had a crush before, but every time I read something about it, they always said it was like butterflies in your stomach and their face would heat up every five minutes.

I picked up my phone again. Still nothing, but my mind told my to go to my contacts. So I did. I opened the number panel and typed in the numbers:

540 - 686 - 9420

Then I had remembered: This is Izuku's number. I had remembered it by heart after so many years. Why did I want to call him? I hate him, right? What's wrong with me?! I know I lve him but- wait. I love him? Do I really? I can't. I can't love Izuku. I mean, I'm him enemy, not his friend. He has more friends, he has so many people in his life, he doesn't need you. My chest stung at the thought of Uraraka. Is this is why I wanted her dead? Because we love the same person? Because she's more worthy of him then myself. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. First we were telling ourselves how much of an insect he was and now we're calling ourselves an insect, great. I put my arm over my eyes. Was everything I did meaningless? Everything smacked me in the face.

Trying to commit suicide, joining a group of villains, terrizing teenagers because I was mad, no, what was I even feeling at that moment? Greif? Anger? Happiness? Fault? Was it a mixture? What was it? Everything I've done, I pinpointed it to Izuku, when it was me all along. I chose to give up, I chose to join the league, I chose to terrize kids, I CHOSE all my damned life choices. I chose to kill innocent people. A single tear fell from my eye. Why? Why did I have to hurt so many people to understand.

What happened to us?

All I could think about was her. They'd always ask why I was always be dozed off. It was because I was thinking of her. I was thinking about my choices that lead up to what I now have to call reality. I told her I'd be with her though everything, yet, I turned on her. That's why she's a villain now, it's because I was jellous. She threw away everything after I turned on her. When she faked her death, was it really just to make me understand? She doesn't deserve this. She deserves so much more than I gave her, so much more recognition for what she stood for and how long she lasted after the death of her parents.

She always was there to comfort me when I needed it. She was so, how do I put it, helpful? No. Perfect? She was way better than perfect. She was, Angelic. Yes. That's the perfect word. If only I understood at the time what I was doing to her, me and her would be walking down these halls, together, maybe even holding each other's hands, smiling at each when we do something stupid, laughing at the dumbest things on YouTube when we're bored. Tears were flowing down my cheeks, but there was a sad smile on my face. A small laugh came out. We were such nerds now look at us. All serious and depressed and all this random stuff. I'll own up to it, I fucked up, terribly. I cost my best friend, emotional support, crush, basically everything, just because of jellousy. I miss her so damn much. Her smile, her laugh, her weird dance moves she'd do when we were listening to an opening to Attack on Titan. I missed my best friend, I missed my angle. I missed the walks in the park we used to take, I miss our conversations we'd have over some stupid topic.

God what happened to us?

My breathing were hitched. Tears refused to stop flowing as I desperately tried to get them to stop. There's no point in crying now. The deed is already done. There's no turning back. They've set their course. If they're willing to keep it up, then I'll keep mine up too. "God when will you leave my mind, Izuku/Shokai."