I can't be yours

9

hey sorry it took me a while to update😐👆🏻 enjoy😜

Lucille.

I sat at the table with Jenna, mum and her mum. The snow fell outside as we sipped our champagne. My home is very, not home. It's basically like a show, my mum has a place for everything so there's never clutter, ever. Tall beams support the ceiling as they tower over us as we eat.

I nudged Jenna to remind her what we are supposed to talk about. She cleared her throat and started first, "so mum, uh me and Luce have been really wanting to know how your time at Hogwarts was." Jenna took a bite smiling as I nodded with her. She played it off well, if I were them I would actually think she cared.

Mrs parkinson whipped her mouth as she laughed "oh well we went to parties, drank and drank," she laughed as my mum agreed with her.

Okay so great all we know is that our mums and us are the same exact people, perfect.

"Oh my gosh were there any hot guys, you know like what did everyone's parents look like." Jenna gasped as my mum laughed.

"We both had the biggest crush on Malfoy, fucks sake." My mum laughed as I leaned in to hear more "there's nothing more darling, or were you wanting me to tell you what happened?" She nodded putting her fork down as I leaned back.

"No I wasn't." I mumbled as she scoffed.

"Mhm." She stood up taking her dish over to the sink and dropping it in as I looked at Jenna as we groaned.

How are we supposed to find out anything when our mums won't say anything.

We picked up ours too and doing the dishes before they picked up some alcohol and started doing shots as me and Jenna went up into my room.

"Okay well fuck we didn't get anything." Jenna mumbled as she took her makeup off.

"Yeah, I wonder how everyone else is doing." I said out loud as I climbed into bed. "Also Jen?" I asked as she peaked out from the bathroom.

"Yeah?" She replied.

"I am sorry about Venus, I wouldn't want him if he hurt you that bad." I said as her lips pressed into a thin line walking over to me.

"Hey, I am over him, don't worry Luce, I will support you either way." She smiled as I hugged her.

"Thank you."

Violet.

Me and jasper sat in the library as silence filled the air. It was awkward, we were always with everyone else. Now we were stuck in a room sipping champagne as the only thing that you could hear was out loud ass heartbeats.

It was never awkward between us, ever. We could always talk about anything and it wouldn't be like this. It wouldn't be like our last time we talked on our own when he said 'what did you think I was going to ask you out?'.

My hands were shaking as I looked over at him. He took a sip of the bubbly drink as I took a deep breath.

"Look v, I am sorry." He admitted as I turned my head to him meting his eyes. I didn't expect him to apologize.

"Jasper, all I fucking wanted was to be with you." I stated as his face dropped. I stood up walking around as I took sips every now and then. I wanted to tell him how i felt.

"I did too!" I turned to him to tell him to not yell because everyone would come in here "I did too v and I just-"

"You just what? Panicked? Jasper you said a really fucking stuck up thing. It hurt." Another sip "and the thing is I wouldn't be as mad but the way you said it, fucked up." Another sip.

"Look v why can't you just see that I made a mistake?" He stood up too as I scoffed.

"Yeah a mistake, it was fucking mean and uncalled for, I thought you were going to ask me out and then you have to go an say something that fucking cocky?!"

"Fucks sakes! I am sorry!" He shouted "what else do you want!"

"I don't know what I want." I mumbled, Another sip and I walked out as I shut the door behind me and a few seconds after it opened again but I was already down the hall.

"Violet!" He shouted after me as I walked down to the kitchen. He finally caught up to me once we entered the kitchen but everyone was there so he couldn't say anything. He took a long breath as he sat down across the table from me.

Dad set down the food in front of everyone as he urged mum to sit down since she did make basically all of this food.

We ate for a while before I spoke up "hey so we were all wondering on what your time at Hogwarts was like." I took a bite as everyone went silent. They only thing you could hear was the silverware sitting down on the plates.

"Um well we went to parties," mum cleared her throat "and barley did any work." She laughed.

"Oh yeah funny thing syd was the biggest nerd, she was always doing work and then when she started being friends with us it went the opposite." Theodore chimed in.

"Merlin yeah and Draco was the biggest dick to syd when he first met her." Blaise muttered as dad scoffed.

"Well blaise asked her to the ball and fancied her." Dad replied again as blaise hit him in the arm.

Dad almost hit him again when mum pushed them away "fucks sakes stop it, we are at diner." She mumbled as we all laughed.

I couldn't say anything else, they would know something is up.

We finished diner as I headed upstairs to my room when I heard someone behind me "jasper, fucks sakes I just want to go to sleep." I groaned turning back around as I made it to the top of the steps. He turned me around as our bodies collided.

"Violet, please don't be mad at me, I can't take it anymore." He mumbled as our faces were centimeters apart. I felt his breath on my lips.

"I still am, you fucked up." I whispered as his hand cupped my face.

"Violet I love you and I have always loved you. I messed up once. Please forgive me- and please be mine." He whispered as my heart fluttered. Yes, no I have to say no I would be giving in to fast.

No violet say yes, this is all you have wanted.

Fuck I don't know what to do.

"Um jasper, can I think about it." I whispered as his face fell. I felt his fingertips loosen from my face but he still held it.

"Of course." He stepped back and walked away as I walked to my room. I shut the door before I crawled in bed.

I love jasper and I want to be with him so bad but is that giving in to easily? Should I have said yes?  Should I have not said that? I don't know what I want.