I can't be yours

7

This chapter= me crying

Jenna.

I woke up with a pounding headache but I was tucked in Venus's bed and he wasn't there. I looked up confused as I stepped out of bed. I sat for a little from my hangover then got up walking down the stairs.

I saw Venus and jasper at the counter in the kitchen drinking some tea. I rubbed my eyes as Venus looked at me but just looked back to jasper. I know I said that stuff last night and he said that he doesn't like Lucille but I have a bad feeling about that.

"Hey boys." I smiled sitting down at the end as they both looked at me. Venus turned away in a matter of seconds but jasper still kept his eyes fixated on me.

"Hey Jen, we are going back today. Hunter and violet have a lot of work to do- they are getting ready if you want to go see them." He smiled but that sounded like jasper and Venus were having a conversation that they didn't want me to hear.

I nodded as I walked out but quickly hid behind the wall as my hands were glued to the wall. I heard Venus take a deep breath as he took another sip of tea "fuck I just don't know what to do." He muttered as I was confused.

"Mate tell her. You can't lead her on." Jasper said as my heart stopped.

"But she's just- I want to be with her she's an amazing girl but I don't know what to say- we've been through so much shit together jasper it's fucking insane. I mean she's helped me in so many ways but I don't know maybe it's better just to be friends." Venus sighed as my whole body was crumbling.

"What did she say last night?" Jasper added.

"She asked me if I love luce and I didn't know what to say- she made me promise and, I had to." He let out a shaky breath.

"You have to tell her." Jasper whispered as a tear rolled down my eye. I felt like my world stopped spinning, knowing that Venus wouldn't be in my life like he is now. He's my first love. My first person that I could ever trust. He means everything to me and knowing that I don't mean that to him- I can't bare to think about it.

I love Venus and I always will but why does it have to end this way? Why do we get so toxic and have the biggest arguments and just to throw everything away?

I remember in the beginning of 4th year when he took me in the spring time for a date, I had a flowy blue dress on as he looked dashing as always. He made a picnic for us. We ate and laughed, kissed, watched the stars. It was the best day of my life, happiest day of my life and I know it was his too because that was the day that I saw him smile that much in that whole year.

I tiptoed away as tears dripped on the floor. I made it to violets room as I heard her and Hunter. I walked in as I saw v at her vanity doing her makeup as Hunter was doing her hair in front of v's mirror. Their faces turned concerned as I covered my mouth dropping on the floor.

I couldn't believe I was so stupid to believe he loved me over her. That the promise he made was real. My sobs echoed through the wallpapered room as violet ran up to me along with Hunter. Their bodies wrapped around me as my muffled sobs tore through their arms. I hated that he couldn't just tell me- that he had to lie to me.

"Jen what's wrong, I promise we are here." Violet whispered as my heart warmed but it wasn't enough. I wanted Venus, my love, my everything but he didn't want me. I couldn't picture him in my life just as my friend, not having him kissing me on the cheek when he sees me or putting his arm over me in the corridors.

I cried in their arms as they hugged me and someone walked in. "Fuck what happened?" Noah said as he walked over to us on the floor. I looked up to him as concern and worry was plastered on his face. He wrapped his arms around me.