I can't be yours

14

Tw⚠️

Venus.

Everyday is the same.

I don't know how many days I have been in here, maybe a month, maybe even more. It's not as bad as I thought, we play games in the main room with every one else. And laugh after Dylan loses again.

They give us pills everyday to help. A green one, two white ones and a clear one. I always take the clear one first cause it's the biggest and hardest to take so I get it over with.

They have therapists here that talk to us everyday. My therapist, her name is Jessica. She's super nice and has long shiny brown hair and blue piercing eyes. I have told her a lot about myself, she knows a lot about me surprisingly but the only thing I haven't told her about is violet and how close we are and how much I miss her.

I headed my way there as I saw Dylan, he was in here the same reason as me. We both have the problem and go to each other. I waved at him before walking into Jessica's room. Her books lined the shelves and her grey chairs that are much comfier then the old slytherin ones that we sit on.

I sat down at my usual spot before she got up grabbing a notebook with my name out it sitting across from me. "Venus, ready to talk about your sister?" She smirked as my head hung low laughing.

"Um, let's talk about anything else then that right now, I can't think about her right now please." I whispered as she nodded in agreement. I didn't lie. I miss violet and jasper and of course Hunter way too much to even talk about it because it would bring me to tears.

I just like to think.

Think.

Think.

"Of course, now real question, potions or charms." She giggled as I fixed my position laughing with her.

"Oh potions for sure." I smiled as she wrote something down before turning to another topic.

We talked for about an hour before I left shutting the hard wood door and walking down the white hall as kids walked past me too. It was a wizard type of thing so everyone here is involved with magic.

I walked to the cafeteria and checked the time seeing 1:59. One minute until pills. I lined up behind everyone as i towered over them with my height. We took a step after someone got out of line getting closer.

"Venus Malfoy, day?" Jackie asked as she poured my pills into a small white cup.

"Good, it's been good, catch you later Jackie." I winked before she laughed. I walked to the water station before downing the clear pill and the rest after.

And that was my day.

Boring.

Slow.

It's never exiting, it's always the same thing everyday. Everyday is always.

Wake up.

Walk around.

Therapy.

Pills.

Cry.

Outside.

Diner.

Bed.

Cry.

I don't cry because I am sad. I cry because I miss the only people that I love in this world and some people here can cover it up so well that they don't have any issues.

We go outside for an hour every day with each other and we talk, mainly me and Dylan because I don't have many more friends here.

I made my way over to the tree as Dylan sat down too. "How are you doing it." I exhaled as Dylan looked at me confused as the fresh air blowed through our arms.

"Doing what?" He asked as my head hung low.

"With missing people, how do you do it- I can't." I lifted my head back up breathing the fresh air as Dylan chuckled.

"I don't, it's horrible for me too. I miss my little sister a lot." He said which brought my mind to violet.

"I have a little sister too- well she's not that little she's just a year younger then me but still." I picked at the grass as I sat.

"I know how you feel, tell me about her." He suggested as my head shot up meeting his green eyes.

"Um well she has super blonde hair like me and she always wears crazy clothes like glitter under her eyes and- and these mini backpacks. They are so great. We are really close, she's helped me a lot." I smiled at the fact imagining violet sitting next to me picking at the grass like I am with her smile lighting up the world.

"She sounds really lovely." He smiled as I nodded "Now tell me, your a handsome git- who's the girl that you have back home." Jenna.

"S- she doesn't, it's really complicated." I laughed as I kept my head low from embarrassment.

"I love listening to people talk, I don't even have to say anything after- I will just listen." He layed back putting his arms behind his head as I smiled taking a deep breath.

And I told him everything about Jenna, our fight, our relationship. And he listened of course.

I walked back to my room sitting on the bed, it's boring- going to bed so early. I sit in bed for hours on end until 1 am thinking. Sometimes crying, wishing things were different.

Wishing that I didn't get drunk that night and showing up at my house hungover. It was a stupid mistake. I wish I could have properly said goodbye to the people I love. I wish I could have told Hunter that I love her and that I will see her soon and say that to everyone else too.

I hated dad at first for making me come here. I hated him for locking me up in this place. But now I thank him, and I am going to tell him that. Because if it weren't for him I wouldn't be clean for however long this is going to be. I heard around that it's 4 to 5 months but that depends on the person.

I have been better and I want to show everyone that.

I just wanted to be in my mums arms. I never want to see her scream and cry like that day ever again in my life. And violet, never I want to see them in pain like that.

A knock appeared on the door as it opened as a nurse stood in doorway. Her silhouette outlined in black with her long blonde hair flowing down her body "Just checking in, it will be your 90th day tomorrow, I am proud Venus." She smiled softly walking closer and into the light making sure everything was neat.

"Thank you, goodnight Luna, tell violet I love her." I said turning over.

"I will, Goodnight Venus." She shut the door as I shut my eyes falling into a deep sleep.