I can't be yours

13

TW⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

shit this chapter really fucked me up😭

Violet.

It's now coming down to summer, leaving school. Venus has not stopped with drugs and alcohol. All we do is party every weekend and it's surprising that we are passing our classes. Hunter and Noah have gotten really close and they are always together, me and jasper are doing good.

Jenna is doing good actually, she has good and bad days missing Venus in her life. They have talked but definitely not about the tough subject on what they want to do.

It's getting hard, seeing Venus like this. He's sober maybe 3 times a week or hungover from the hard night before. We always check on him, every morning, every night, mid day, hell even in the middle of the night. But he always manages to use or drink. It's scary.

I want to tell mum and dad, I really do but what would happen with Venus? Would he go away to rehab and I wouldn't be able to see my brother? Will mum be so angry at him and send him to the states? I don't want him to go away, and maybe that's so fucking selfish to an extreme but I have to do the right thing or sooner or later they will find out.

It was the night before we left, I sat against the wallpaper as tears streamed down my face, I tried to whip them off but they kept coming, it was no use.

I had no clue what to do.

I was shaking and I hate crying so bad you shake. It's horrible and a horrible feeling. My blonde hair was messy, my mascara from today poured down my face. The window was open as the warm Summer air blew through the white curtains.

I held myself against the wall because right now I had no one to talk to about this. I couldn't talk to Venus, I couldn't talk to jasper, I couldn't talk to the girls.

No one.

I was alone in this.

In this decision, I was alone.

No one could help me on my choices or no one could hold me while I explained To them what was wrong. I couldn't do that because they wouldn't understand. They don't have siblings, they don't have someone that you are so close with and have to make this use decision. So it's me.

I sat for hours, hours on end until 2 am. I stood up almost stumbling over but made it to my bed. I curled up in my silk sheets thinking when me and jasper were little and we shared a room, his with the mini bed and stuffed animals. And mine with the pink, and blue and many colors on my side. My canopy bed that me and Venus would pretend we were the most powerful wizards in the world living under the elegance of the 'canopy bed'.

I stared at the ceiling wishing I didn't have to make this decision.

•

I don't even know when I fell asleep, I checked the time and it was 8 am. I stumbled out of bed getting my clothes on. I walked out seeing Hunter as a big smile was on her face. "What's wrong?" She asked pulling her bag behind her as I have her a smile.

"Just not a great rest, I am fine." I walked down the stairs and to the slytherin common room seeing Noah, Jenna, jasper and Venus. Venus looked "are you drunk?!" I ran over to him as the smell of alcohol hit my nose.

"Yeah, hungover." He itched his head as I ran out. Mum and dad are going to find out, that's the only thing that was going through my mind.

I ran to the courtyard with my stuff trailing behind me, everyone followed including Venus "v!" He shouted as I turned my head still walking down to the pathway to get to the train.