I can't be yours

16

Hi, how do you guys like the story so far and where it's going?💃🏼

Jenna.

I wasn't there for when Venus was taken to rehab and I am glad I wasn't, from what jasper told me it was horrible. It was easier getting over him when he was here and I knew he was safe and okay, but now since he's gone and I don't know how he's doing. It's harder to concentrate on other things then him.

I boarded the train with Lucille as she walked with me to the compartment we all always sit in. I slid open the door to see violet and jasper sitting with each other and Hunter with Noah.

No Venus.

It's weird not having his smile right there when you enter or his smell that gets you exited. I quietly sat down next to violet as she turned to me "How was your summer v? I am sorry we couldn't see each other." I frowned as she hugged me. Her presence almost felt like Venus in a way and it was comforting.

The train started before she started talking "it was okay, first few weeks were not the best but it got better." She smiled as the light poured into the compartment as we left the station. Glitter sparkles against her skin as she spoke.

"That's good, how are you doing with everything? Can I help?" I asked as she smiled holding my hand as her grip was tight.

"I am okay, just eager to see him. And not right now you don't have to." She smiled and started asking about my summer and how it was. I had to lie and tell her it was good and I hung out with Luce and went to Paris and all other assortment of places, but I didn't. I sat in my room and hoped that Venus was okay and that one of my friends would come over besides Luce.

But I couldn't tell her that, I had to lie because she's his actual sister and hurting a lot more then me. I couldn't say 'oh yeah I had an awful summer because your brother is stuck in rehab and I miss him' no I couldn't do that because I don't get to pity on her.

We talked with everyone the rest of the ride and throwing jokes around and grabbing stuff off the trolley. Eating whatever our hearts desire.

We finally walked off the carpeted train and onto the real ground as we walked to the path the led us to Hogwarts, the ground was slushy and damp like it just rained. Jasper popped out of bushes and screamed so we could all be scared by his dimwit abilities.

It was now night time when we walked into the great hall. Hunter and violet made their way to the Ravenclaw table and Lucille walked to the gryffindor one before I sat down with Noah and jasper.

No Venus.

Noah popped grapes Into his mouth as him and jasper laughed about stupid stuff. I ate listening to what they think is funny and letting out a giggle at a few things before returning back to my food.

I felt like going to the library just to clear my head and be alone for a little while so I clasped my bag to my shoulder walking down the corridors. The night light shined through the old structured windows as I smiled taking it in. The birds chirped in the trees as I made my way to the library.

I stepped in and the carpet hit my Sandals as I walked through the massive room. The book cases towered to the ceiling and chairs lined the bottom along with a few tables.

I sat down at a table near the window before setting my stuff down and standing back up and walking over to the book cases scanning the books. My fingers glided over the hard covers looking at the titles of each ones.

I finally found one, it's a muggle book from the section. It's called Romeo and Juliet.

I sat down putting my legs up to my chest as the moonlight gave me just enough time to see the words plastered on the pages.

I kept reading and saw this line,

My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love is deep; the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite.

I looked up and saw Venus, he was wearing that outfit he wore when he took me on the picnic. He was scanning the shelves as he landed on the place I took this book from. His skin was glistening in the moonlight as I was completely swept off my feet. My eyes watered as they scanned his every moment.

His head turned as he had a bright smile on his face, his white teeth sparkled as his body swept forward. Like a ghost, to good to be true. Like he looks to real, too perfect to ever be mine. His feet kept striding forward as he held out his hand, you could see his veins as the purple was bright and beautiful.

He got closer as I stood up mesmerized by him. Like If someone was talking to me right in this moment I wouldn't hear because everything was blocked out, every sound, every footstep on the carpet was gone and all I could hear were his movements.

I stepped closer before his mouth opened "You can always know how to make my heart jump." He said as tears ran down my face.

I blinked and there I was standing in the library alone. Venus was not there, he was never here. My body stiffened as my hand was held out ready for him to take it, ready for him to take me on some adventure we would have.

But he wasn't ready. And I am now recognizing that maybe when he gets out and is better and doesn't drink, he could be mine and he could still feel that way about me because I thought I pushed those feelings down, down to my feet and they sat there not wanting to come up but they never were there.

They were in my heart and I can still feel it.

I sped down the corridors trying to get my mind off of what happened. I tried and tried. He felt so real! Fuck! Get him out of your head!

Please leave venus. Please leave my fucking head.

Now you know I can't do that darling.

Get the fuck out oh my Merlin. I cant even think as his voice echoed through my head. I looked at the time and it was 12 am? How did time last that quickly?!

I ran to my dorm as I paced around.

I cant leave, and you know that.

Please please leave it's hurting my head.

Darling, you have to figure out how you feel about me before I can ever leave you alone.

Fuck I don't know how I feel about you. I don't know!

Well then I will stay and you will figure it out as I pry at your thoughts.

"Fucks sakes leave!" I shouted and a few minutes late jasper came running in as his breath was unsteady.

"What happened?! Who?!" He ran in as I kept pacing around but he grabbed me steadying me before I looked into his eyes.

"A-" tell him everything is okay darling. I know he's not fucking real and I am just going insane with missing him, don't listen to the fucking voice in your head.

"I just have a headache, it's okay." I breathed as he walked out saying goodnight.

The voice didn't say anything else.