I can't be yours

23

Tw⚠️⚠️⚠️

Hunter.

"So yes, we have done fucked up things, us and all of your parents." Draco finished as I took a breath. What the hell did I just listen to?

"I didn't expect that." Violet muttered as Sydney was crying a bit. Not much but you could see the tears welling in her eyes.

"That's why we didn't want to tell you all because it was in our past." Sydney cleared her throat as she stood up. Draco quickly went after her as they stayed in the kitchen for a while.

We all sat in silence.

It was quiet.

No one wanted to speak after we heard how awful our parents childhoods were. It hurt knowing Draco and my father were caught up in the death eater shit that ruined their lives.

It really does hurt knowing that they went through that with such little support.

I stood up as i saw them, violet, jasper, and Venus who looked so terrified. "Let's go back." I cleared my throat as violet quickly nodded standing up.

"I love you mum, we are leaving." She mumbled as her mum said something back.

We arrived at Hogwarts as we trudged through the halls. It felt like we had the perfect lives, perfect parents. No secrets. Our parents didn't have any secrets. But everyone has secrets.

I walked into the common room as Lucille and Jenna along with Noah sat on the couches. We can't tell them. But we will when we are ready. Because this involves our families, not theirs.

I pushed violet who knew as she put on a smile as along with Venus and jasper. We walked to the couches as I sat next to Noah before he kissed me and we all started talking anything but what happened earlier that night.

See they are our friends, they have been with us. But not our families and what we had to hear what happened to Sydney and Draco along with my father and Theodore.

No one needs to know that now. It's almost summer. And we can make memories that will over look this night but those words will still be in our heads. The picture of what Sydney and Draco described will still be there.

Every second.

Of everyday.

All day.

We will always have it.

And knowing that we didn't have the best, no one has the best. Everyone has their flaws. But knowing that anyone could have had their childhood- it hurts. Knowing that it could have been any of us that had that.

It fills my body with sadness and also rage knowing that Sydney and Draco had to hide upstairs behind a painting during meetings, crying in each other's arms wanting it all to be over.

They just wanted a normal childhood filed with going to diagon alley and getting butterbeer with their parents. Riding broomsticks through the quidditch fields.

They didn't want to life in fear everyday of dying.

And I feel like me and my friends take our lives for granted. Like we always say our life sucks or our lives are fucked up- which is only half true because everyone's life is fucked up but when you hear stories like that. You know you take this whole life for granted and what you have.

"You think that we take life for granted?" I interrupted as their heads shot to me.

"I- um I mean yeah we probably do." Noah sighed as everyone agreed as I nodded.

"Cool, carry on." I smiled as they all started taking again.

Venus.

"I will be back you guys." I smirked as I quickly walked out of the common room. My arms were itchy, and my brain was scrambling, I couldn't think. I was too stressed with what information I just received that I can't help it.

I aparated to hogsmeade as tears ran down my face. I strolled the streets as my breathing became heavier. My hands were sweaty. I turned the corner as the door appeared in my sight as I quickly ran to it.

My slippery hands knocked on the wood as the latch opened as I saw eyes. I heard a sigh as the latch shut. I was pacing around waiting for manny to open the door and let me in.

"Manny I know you are in there!" I shouted as my fist connected with the door. "Manny!" I shouted again as a I hit the door over and over again. "Fuck- let me in! I need some! Please!"

"I can't do that man." He sighed again as tears now ran down my face. I pounded on the door even harder as I sniffled.

"Manny just let me in! Fuck you! You piece of shit!" I cried as I banged on the door once again before storming away and Down the alleyway and back to Hogwarts.

The halls were empty as I cleared up my face before I walked back into the common room. Jenna jumped up "Can we talk?" She asked as I sighed nodding before she took my hand leading me out again.

"What is it Jen." I breathed as she stood there.

"You don't think we could work out, do you?" She played with her nails as i laughed shaking my head.

"No Jen I cant." I stated as her mouth dropped open.

"You can't tell me that you don't love me?! Cause I love you v!" She exclaimed. She stepped closer "tell me that you don't love me.." I can't but I can't be there for you right now.

"I can't Jenna, really." I sighed as he eyes looked up at me.

"Say it." She mumbled.

"Jen we are just right person wrong time. I can't be yours." I sighed as her eyes were glossy and tired. She looked pitiful.

She leaned in as he lips connected with mine. I forgot what it felt like. Her touch, he scent that fills my nose when she's close. It's all coming back.

But I know I can't do it. I really can't.

She pulled away as a small smile was on her face. "It's okay, maybe in another universe." Her voice cracked as I looked up trying not to cry.

"I'm sorry." I sighed looking back down to her as she shook her head looking down and back at me.

"Don't be love, it's okay." She patted my chest as she placed a gentle smile on her face walking back into the common room as I stood in the empty hallway with the moonlight pouring in from the sides. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I let out a sigh.

My life is fucked up.