Forever Together

Chapter 79

Stasia looked at them. "Did y'all hear all of my story?" They all nodded, and she let out a breath. "I don't know what to say, really. I feel bad for being so happy. But when I think about Noah, all I want to do is cry. I am literally the worst wife ever," she sighed to keep herself from crying more. 

Yoongi just held her tighter. "Stasia, it's okay to miss him and to be happy again. I'm sure Noah wouldn't want you to be a depressing mess for the rest of your life."

She leaned back on him; he was right. She knew he was, she just didn't know how she was going to convenience herself it was okay. Stasia looked at Aimes and said she was going to make breakfast. Then she got up and walked out of the room past all of them. She went to the kitchen and just threw herself into cooking. She was making omelets for everyone. It was a task that made her focus; she was so zoned into what she was doing that she didn't even notice Jin standing there. 

She barely glanced at him. She knew what he wanted, but she wasn't ready. He wasn't going to let her ignore him, though. Once she'd added the last omelet to the warmer tray, he cornered her. 

"Stasia, we have to talk about this. You know that."

"No, we don't, Seokjin; I'm fine. Just leave me alone."

"You know I can't do that. I love you too much to let you suffer alone."

She slammed down the spatula, "I'm not suffering, Seokjin. Look, I'm happy." She put on her best fake smile, but it wasn't working. Tears were forming. He walked towards her, and she waved him off. "I'm fine, Jin; just leave me alone."

"Stasia, you know I can't do that. I love you, and if you are suffering, I'm suffering."

She fell to the ground; she was a mess. She had her head in her hands, and she rocked back and forth. "I don't deserve this life. I was a married woman who basically got her husband killed. Then I shack up with not one but seven international pop stars. I'm so incredibly in love with you guys, and it's not fair to Noah. I never should have agreed to come to Korea. I should have just stayed in California and raised Ami by myself. I should have stayed single and just focused on her for the rest of my life." She fell to the floor and sobbed. 

He ran over to her, picked her up, and held her while she sobbed. He patted her back, petted her hair, and told her over and over that it'd be okay. That he'd always be here. When she finally calmed down, he started talking to her. 

"Why do you think you don't deserve this life? You deserve it more than anyone I know. You changed our lives for the better; you gave us something that we never thought we could ever have. Stasia, you gave us love and a family; you are always there for us whenever we need you. You are a wonderful mother, I mean you are pregnant with baby #5 all because we wanted to have kids. Stasia, we were just going through the motions before you came into our lives. We'd write and record songs, perform them, do things for Army, sleep, eat, repeat. We never had a life of our own. We owned a big house, but you made it a home. You brought laughter, and games, children, and more love than I could ever imagine." 

By the time he was done with his speech, the rest of the house was in the kitchen. She wiped her tears and put on a smile, "there are omelets in the warmer, let me see Luna, she needs to eat." 

She stood up and took Luna from Hobi. She kissed the twins on their heads and gave Ami a kiss, too, then turned to walk to her nursery. When she got to the nursery, she was trying really hard to stay calm. She didn't want to stress Luna out. She was cooing at her, and she had to smile. Stasia got her latched, and she held her finger. 

"I love you, my sweet Luna. I never thought I'd have more kids, but then you and your brothers came along. You guys are such a blessing to me; you bring me so much happiness. Soon you are going to be a big sister, what do you think about that?" She smiled at her with her big, gummy smile. She wiped her mouth and then got her ready for the day. She was wearing a blue little dress and a big bow. 

She looked adorable. Stasia stayed in the nursery longer than she should have. She was hiding; it wasn't a big secret. But she knew she couldn't hide forever. She laid her down for her nap and went to check on the other three. They were playing in the twins' room, and it looked like they were having a great time. She knew she couldn't put it off any longer. She walked to the living room; she knew they'd be there. She stood at the entrance, just taking it all in. Jin saw her first, and he walked over to her and took her hand. He walked her into the living room. 

"We need to talk," she whispered.

"Please don't tell me you are leaving, I.. I won't get to see my baby be born?" Jungkook cried.

"Are you leaving? What about the boys? Are you taking my son?" Jimin cracked.

"If you are leaving, then I'm going with you because I'll be damned if you think you are going to raise my daughter without me. I told you we were forever, and I meant it. You can't get rid of me, Nae Sesang," Yoongi had his arms crossed over his chest.

She stood up and started to walk out. They were too worked up right now, and she needed to give them time to calm down. Hobi stopped her before she could get out of the living room, saying, "Nuh-uh, you can't leave that easy. Sit now."