Diamond in the Making

18. My Levi's

How can a simple touch ignite a fire within me? It makes my heart beat faster, heightens my sense and brings life to feelings which were once dormant. It makes every part of my body feel alive.

It's a feeling people wish to experience. They live their lives trying to find the one person who makes them feel this way.

Nate makes me feel this way and I'm lucky that I found him but can I really handle everything that comes with this feeling? The more I think, the more that I believe it's not worth losing.

I sat on my couch in my apartment as Nate was next to me holding my hand in his, drawing light circles and making my heart flutter, as he told me the bare minimum of what I needed to know about his line of work. I didn't want to know it all, I couldn't live with all of that knowledge.

The fears I once had were being burned by overpowering desire. His touch made me feel as though I was on the top of the world but I quickly fell when he asked "so what's been going on with you? Why haven't you been sleeping?"

"I guess it's my turn to be honest," I mumbled.

I knew it was coming to this. Did I trust Nate? I wanted to but I don't know if I do after all this. The only way to test someone's trust is to confide in them and Nate just confided in me so now I'll return the favour.

"My parents died when I was younger. I was lost without them, I felt like a part of me died with them. I got tied up with the wrong crowd. I did some messed up shit," I paused recalling the memories as I tried not to fall into my own cloud of darkness.

Nate pulled me out of my daze when he squeezed my hand. "We all have," he said with a slight smile trying to lighten the mood. I was glad he wasn't pushing for more information.

Usually when someone hears the story of my parents they pity me but I never wanted it. This was the reaction I always got, not the one I wanted because I felt like I didn't deserve it. I've done too many wrongs to deserve that.

But Nate didn't pity me, he felt my pain and that brought me even closer to him.

"Someone from that time in my life is here to haunt me again," I took a deep breath trying to calm my nerves as Nate's eyes begged me to continue. He wanted to fix this for me, I could see that in his eyes but he wouldn't be able to. "I've just been so worried that everything I've done will bite me in the ass."

"You can't live in fear," Nate said as he put his arm over my shoulder and pulled me closer. I snuggled into his chest, hearing the soft patter of his heartbeat. "Is there anything I can do?" He asked in the mitts of silence.

I knew what he was trying to do. He wanted a name, Daphne's name. Probably so she could end up with the same fate as Brad, well before I got involved. I didn't want to think of what would have happened if I wasn't there. Nate was being protective and I appreciate it but I'm drawing the line.

I avoided his question, "I haven't had someone to rely on for a while." I've learned to depend on myself, to hide the truth, to think that it was only me in this world but now I want there to be someone with me. "Will you be my shoulder to lean on?" I asked, cringing at my own question as I lifted my face, which held a sly smile, to meet his.

He gave me his signature smirk as he leaned in closer asking "I thought I already was" Then crashed his lips onto mine in a passionate kiss that sealed our fate.

I felt his stubble covering his face underneath my fingertips as his hand rested on my waist and the other cupping my face. The kiss was short but it was all we needed. Then we pulled away from each other. The pools of blue drowned me and took my breath away as I looked into his eyes. I instinctively licked my lips.

"Don't do that," he said in a low tone.

"Do what?" I asked, confused as I nervously chewed on the inside of my mouth then bit my bottom lip.

"Bite your lip," he said as he quickly got up and fixed his pants trying to be discreet. I guess it's good to know I have an effect on him.

"Are you hungry?" He asked as he headed for the fridge.

"Not for food," I said seductively but then laughed, I just couldn't keep a straight face.

"Don't do that either," he said with hooded eyes then took a deep breath.

Nate reached for the door of the fridge as I searched for the tv remote. "What the fuck?" He asked.

I got up off the couch to see what he was asking about. He stood there with one hand holding the door and the other pointing towards the non existent food.

"I forgot to buy groceries," I answered his unasked question as I slouched my shoulders.

"I'll make you something, let's go to the store," he said as he made his way to the door.

"You cook?" I asked skeptically and he just nodded. "Are you a good cook?"

"You'll see," he replied playfully.

I quickly changed into a pair of straight leg blue Levi's and a white tank top then I slipped on a pair of sneakers. I took a look in the mirror as the diamonds on my neck glistened.

The grocery store was within walking distance so we made our way through the alway busy New York streets, hand in hand, talking about sweet nothings. I wouldn't rather be anywhere else.

We parted ways at the grocery store because he wanted to surprise me with a special meal. I went about my own way gathering everything I usually buy. I would occasionally catch a glimpse of Nate wandering around the store. He honestly looked lost but I wasn't gonna judge.

I was in the last aisle, the frozen food aisle, on a mission. I needed to find Ben and Jerry's half baked. I've been wanting it forever.

I found one and only one on the top shelf of the freezer. When I went to reach for it, another hand beat me to it. Following the tattooed to perfection hand, I saw the signature smirk of the blue eyes hottie.

"Is this what you wanted?" He asked innocently like he wasn't playing a dangerous game here.

"Give it," I demanded.

He made a tsk sound before saying "what do I get in return?"

I looked around the area we were in to find no one around. I leaned in closer to his ear, my breath was hot as it touched his neck. "Nothing," I whispered as I took advantage of his distraction and snatched it from his hand.

Nate pouted as he followed closely behind me to the cash register. He soon caught up to me as he came closer to my ear saying "your ass looks good in these jeans." I just gave him the 'we're in public' look. And he responded by lightly smacking my ass, I gave him a deadly glare.

We stood in line as I tried to see what was in his basket, he quickly moved it behind his back.

"No peeking," he said.

I put all my items onto the counter as the cashier scanned and bagged everything. Nate looked towards me and twirled his finger telling me to turn around. 'No peeking' I reminded myself as I mocked him in my head.

He paid before I had the chance. "I pay you back," I said as I started to pick up the bags.

"I won't take it," he said as he smiled at me.

I let out a huff of breath before I muttered, "well thank you."

When we got back to my apartment, I showed Nate where everything was in the kitchen before I left him while I showered.

Showering just makes me reflect on my thoughts and right now I feel like life is going too well. I smile every time I think of Nate but what does that mean? I'm trying not to be scared of these feelings but what if I'm falling because I feel like I am. Falling hard and falling fast.