Diamond in the Making

15. No Disguise

It's funny how life works and how mistakes happen. It takes a lot for someone to apologize and admit they are wrong. If they do, it shows a lot about their character.

When it comes down to it, I believe I would own up to my misjudgement. The fact that Roman was willing to apologize makes me like him more than I did this morning.

Nate seemed to be enjoying this as he looked over to Roman giving him a nudge. He cleared his throat before saying quietly "I'm sorry."

I just looked over at Nate with furrowed brows as he said "this is my idiot friend Roman."

"Ok," I said bluntly, I would forgive but I wouldn't forget. Forgetting is what makes people use you, I learned that the hard way.

Nate gave Roman a look telling him to leave. He walked past me with apologetic eyes.

"I think you need to find some new friends, you know ones that aren't dicks," I said, referring to Roman and his police officer friends, as he laughed. "So what are you doing here?" I asked as I took a seat next to him.

"Well it's my turn to apologize, I'm sorry for not coming back home," he said as he reached from my hands.

I was never really mad at him, just disappointed.

"I get it, you had work to deal with," I said as I suppressed my many questions.

"Can I take you out for dinner Friday to make up for it?" He asked hopefully.

I just smiled in response and kissed his soft lips which I've missed. Nate will always leave me wanting more.

~

Friday seemed like forever away. I hadn't slept. Most nights I'd sit on the floor by the tall windows of my apartment looking out to the busy streets of the city that never sleeps and imagine how my life would be if it was normal.

Normal meaning my parents would be alive, no Daphne, no Brad, just me and my family.

When I did close my eyes and fall asleep, I would relive every unwelcomed memory of Daphne and how my life used to be. Seeing only the worst parts. So instead I would lay awake imagining a perfect life.

I am so fucked up.

The days dragged on. I felt like I wasn't living my life, I was just existing. I spent most of my time working, it was a good distraction.

Every night Nate would call me at the same time and ask how my day was. It was sweet, something that I've come to look forward to, something that has given me meaning in a world of, what seems to be, meaningless nothings.

Every morning around 4:00, I walk to work and get a head start because what else was I going to do at home. I would go a longer way just so that I could feel the cool, crisp morning air a bit more, hoping it would cure me of my restless mind. Unfortunately, it never did.

One night, I decided to try a different remedy. I drew a hot bath during the earlier hours of the evening. Bringing a bottle of wine and something that I would only ever have on special occasions. Not that I wouldn't consider this special, this is my last resort.

I soaked in the bath, sipping my red wine, and smoking a joint trying to relax. To just turn my wandering mind off for a second, to let every possible worry melt away, but it just wouldn't work. Luck was never on my side. My mind raced faster as the city lights got brighter.

I am definitely being over dramatic and extra paranoid. But how do you tell your anxiety to stop? You can't, there's no solution, at least not in my books.

Soon, I'd tell myself. Soon it would get better. But would it? Who knows the answer?

When 4:00 came, I started my routine, only today was different. I was slightly buzzed a tad bit high. But I wasn't going to complain, we all get through life somehow right.

Even at my worst, I wouldn't fail fashion. I wore all black, my shirt had a lower necklace to display my array of diamond necklaces, with a denim jacket. Kind of casual compared to my regular looks, but it would do.

I walked through the quieter streets as the heels of my black strappy shoes hit the sidewalk. Making me more awake with each step as the cold air bit my neck.

I was approaching fifth avenue from one of the side streets, when I heard something from around the corner. I should have kept walking, minded my own business, but I guess I'm too stupid to listen to my thoughts for my own good.

The sound got louder the closer I got. Yelling, no screaming. The begging, the pleading, the banging, and then I heard it. The sound I've heard and come to know, the cocking of a gun.

Peering my head around the corner, as I reached in my purse for my phone and a small handgun I carried thanks to my newfound paranoia.

I couldn't get a view of what was happening. I walked around the corner with my gun held high and I saw someone I never would have expected to see. I looked deep into their eyes, as we were equally surprised to see one another. He's the one whose hand held the cocked gun, the one who had bloody hands, the one at fault, the one who now pointed their gun at me as I returned the favour.

"Nate?"

———
Special thank you to nebulaskies_13 for making the new cover!! Comment and let me know what you think.
Thanks for reading!