Diamond in the Making

31. Weaknesses Comprise

I find death to be a scary thing. Just the thought of it shakes me. Maybe it's because I've gone through the grief of losing someone or it's because I've now watched as two people left this world for another.

When I think of death, I feel heartbreak. Did that person leave too soon? How do their loved ones feel? Did they deserve it, does anyone really deserve it?

I sat on the floor in the middle of all the glass as Nate tried to comfort me but I didn't want comfort from him. The only people I want comfort from are gone.

He tried to hug me but I pushed him away. I don't want him here, especially not after what he just did. Maybe I'm in denial because maybe there was no other way out of this but I wanted Nate to try and find another way. His gun seems to be his best friend, his go to and I don't like that. Does he even think before he shoots?

I stood up and rushed to the kitchen. I needed to clean this mess and get everything the way it was before, if that is even possible. The memories I was recalling seem tainted now and I don't know who I blame more Daphne or Nate.

Nate walked out of the house and I thought he left, it would be easier if he did.

I sweeped up the glass and hung the frames back up with the pictures intact but without the glass. It would have to do for now.

The next task was to clean up all the blood but I couldn't do that with a body in the middle of the room. I had a metallic taste in my mouth and I was getting dizzy so I sat with my back against the wall trying to look at the untouched places of the house that made me happy.

Nate came back in after a few minutes. He came to sit next to me but as soon as he did I stood up leaning against the wall for balance. I just needed some space from him.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly.

"No," I answered honestly.

If he wasn't here Daphne's bitch would have either killed me or left me unconscious outside of my burning house. As much as I wish things didn't happen the way they did, I know that Nate saved me in this situation. Now all of my rage transferred to Daphne.

"Get him out of here," I said pointing to the body. "And feed him to the wolves," I said after a minute of silence. It's a way of saying return it to its sender. Nate nodded his head understanding what I mean.

"What happened?" He was very calm with his words like he is scared if he talks any louder I'll break.

"He's a wolf, he was a wolf," I said, correcting my words. "They sent him to burn the house."

"What is this place?" He asked, looking at some of the photographs.

"I'm not giving you an answer to that question," he doesn't deserve to know, I can't help the resentment I still have for him. "Just get him out of here and leave."

The sound of another car engine roared into the driveway.

"Who the fuck is that?" I asked, getting even more agitated. Nate just bowed his head like he was being scolded.

The door swung open and Theo and Roman walked in as if this were any other normal day.

"No no no," I whispered as I held my head shaking back and forth. "I need you all to get out," they are making it worse. I just need my quiet time here alone.

My parents would be so disappointed if they saw who was standing in their entryway. We're a group of murderers and one lays dead before us.

The memories are distorted and my parents' voices talk in my head with shame of who their daughter is. I sunk to the floor again wishing to be swallowed by it. The voices in my head yelled louder, images of the dead clouded my vision. Apologetic tears streamed down my face. Head against my knees and my arms holding my legs tight, I just wanted all the commotion in my head to stop.

Nate reached out again, patting my shoulder. He wanted to be here for me but after all that's happened today I don't think he should be my shoulder to cry on.

"Don't touch me," I said as I rolled my shoulder out of his grip. "Just get him out of here and leave," I repeated again hoping he would listen this time.

I heard the sounds of them dragging the dead body out of the house. I said a little prayer in my head asking for forgiveness not from God but from my parents.

The front door shut and I thought I was finally alone until I heard more footsteps. They went from the front door to the kitchen then back. Nate sat down next to me and handed me some ice for my throbbing head. My neck is probably covered in bruises. I definitely look like shit and I feel like it too.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Nate asked after a few minutes in silence.

"No."

He took a breath before saying "listen, I'm sorry for what happened before in my office. I was being an asshole to you."

I looked up at him with curious eyes. I didn't want to talk but I would listen and I wasn't gonna stop him from what he was saying.

"I was just worried that I don't know," he stopped for a second running his hands down his face. "It's stupid to think."

"What is?" I asked.

"I was worried that you were going to stab me in the back. I just had to make sure history wouldn't repeat itself," he said with a sigh.

I knew why he would think this. My actions lately have been anything but normal. I don't know many average people who can throw knives, punches, and shoot a gun. It was nice for him to open up a little bit. He's showing me his weaknesses while I'm at my weakest.

"I hope you realize now that I'm not as innocent as I look. I just thought you knew that and I thought you accepted me for who I am," I said looking anywhere but in his eyes. "Trust is a mutual thing and I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me and my intentions."

Now I looked into his pleading eyes. "I know," he said exasperated. "But I'll never doubt you again. I'll be here for you even if you don't want me to be, I'm not going anywhere."

Never is a strong promise. Is it a promise that he can keep?