Stellar | ENG

chapter 7

A few minutes passed where silence reigned.
There were only the two of us in the Common Room. And both of us were there, staring at each other without saying anything.
In his eyes anger, disappointment, offence. In mine guilt, sadness and fear.
~How could I have forgotten about him?~

He who had dumped other people several times to be with me, he who managed to make me smile even in the darkest moments, he who was always there for me. ~How could I?~

The guilt was penetrating my stomach, and the silence was amplifying it.

"Sorry, I didn't notice the time." I broke the silence, which was starting to become fractious.
"You didn't notice the time?" he told me incredulously, "Rose it's 6.15pm. We were supposed to meet at 4pm." his voice began to rise higher and higher "let's meet early so we can finish early and then we can go for a walk. We agreed on that together, remember?"

I started to open my mouth to retort, my eyes filled with tears, my voice broken, I was trying to fight myself not to burst into tears.
He was right, he had all the reason in the world. But it was still the first time he'd yelled at me like that, I'd seen him angry before, but not at me.

"I-" "You what?"
" I'm sorry-" I said almost in a whisper, tears started to fall from my eyes.
He didn't say anything, just stood there staring at me, again. With his mouth open, disbelief had taken the place of anger in his eyes.

After a while he took me by the wrist and embraced me, his hand gently pushing my head into his chest.

Silence reigned again, but this time it was a pleasant, comfortable silence.
"I'm sorry, I d-didn't mean to," he said gently resting a kiss on the top of my head.
"No. You don't have to apologise, it's my fault" after this sentence he took my face with his hands so that we were face to face.
With his thumbs he wiped my tears and looked at me with a smile, which I immediately returned.
"You'll probably hate me after this. I don't even know how I'm finding the courage to do this!" he said chuckling.
~Okay, I'm officially confused and scared~I thought.
And after that I saw him look at my lips and move closer and closer, until his lips touched mine.

Not knowing what to do, I tried to kiss him back, but it felt so wrong.
Tears began to well up in my eyes, what if we had ruined our friendship?

I felt a smile form on his face, and without a second thought I pulled away. I didn't want him to get the wrong idea.

We broke away and before I could say anything, he said with an abnormal smile "You see, the reason I was so angry when any guy flirted with you is because-" he took a breath before continuing his sentence "-I like you so much, from the first year I knew you were special, but it wasn't until the summer before the second year that I really realized I liked you. The thing is, you drive me crazy, when I'm with you the rest doesn't matter, it's just you and me!" I looked into his eyes he was agitated, but I could see the nervousness in him.
I was officially as confused as ever.
~What am I going to do now?~
I was as panicked as ever.

"Seamus I-" ~what do I do?~
I don't want to break his heart. But I know damn well I couldn't fake it, not with him. I was like an open book to him, and I knew that very well.

"- it's just that I didn't expect it," I couldn't look him in the eye. "Please don't misunderstand me or take it the wrong way-" I sighed and gathered my courage to look him in the eye. "I'm a little confused right now. I need some time." I saw the displeasure in his eyes, he was trying to hide it, it was obvious.
Because as I was to him, he was an open book to me.

"Of course I understand you." he said to comfort me, but it was obvious he didn't mean it.
"I just don't want to have ruined our friendship." he said more worried than ever.

"Ei, ei," I said taking his face with my hands, turning it towards me.
"You could never ruin our friendship, the bond we have can at best be strengthened. Don't even think of getting rid of me." and so saying I giggled a little. I said it, but I didn't mean it.
I was terrified that my choice would ruin everything.

"It's just that you're too important! " awww, my little heart skipped a beat, he was to me too.
" Take your time, and do what you feel, don't let any factor affect you. I will in any case be here waiting for you." ohhh that's so sweet.

We looked into each other's eyes again, I didn't know what to do!

Fortunately the alarm clock on my watch went off, saving me from the moment.
I quickly said goodbye to Seamus, giving him a kiss on the cheek, and headed for the exit of the Common Room.
I turned once more to look at him and send him a smile, and saw him with one hand resting where I had just kissed him, as if the kiss, which I had just given him might slip away.

I smiled at him, but instead of being friendly and comfortable he was embarrassed.

I walked out of the Common Room and began to think.
~Why did I have to make the situation worse?~
Chaos reigned in my mind.
~What should I do?~