When September Ends || a.i

Chapter 17

"Oh hi Cece! I didn't see you, um did you get home okay last night?"

Fuck. The worst possible thing he could've said and he has just said it. The look on Ashton's face was heartbreaking yet intimidating. His expression was a cross between sadness and sheer white hot anger. He let go of my hand and walked towards the door.

"Uh Isaac I'll get in touch with you soon, good talking to you!" I shouted back to Isaac as I ran after Ashton.

"Ashton wait! Ash! Ashton hold up!!"

"Why Cece, who was that guy? Why were you out with him? Were all the things you told me a lie? Because I really don't know if I can handle that!" He turned round and shouted at me.

"Ashton, there is nothing going on with me and him, he's one of Luke's old friends! I was out in the city yesterday when I met him and we went for a coffee. Nothing happened Ashton and nothing will. I will get on my knees if that's what it takes to prove it to you. I wouldn't do that to you. I'm not like that. I promise. The things I said weren't a lie, they were one hundred percent true and I will prove it. I really fucking love you Ashton."

I was crying by now. His face dropped and he walked up, wrapped his arms around me and whispered "I love you too baby, please don't cry" that just made me cry all the more. I do love this boy. I really do.

He pulled away and took my face in his hands. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." And he pressed his lips on mine. I pulled away. "I'm sorry too." I kissed him again before I heard "woooo go ash!!! Get it son!!!" "Woooo go gurl!"

Calum and Sophie. Those assholes.

I laughed against Ashton's lips and we both cracked up before going to the jeep.

"I knew it I knew it I knew it, luke you owe me ten bucks!" Calum squealed.

I looked at Luke and one eyebrow was raised. I scratched the back of my neck and looked at him. His eyes locked on me.

"Uh, how much of that did you see?"

"All of it" he said flatly. I was still holding Ashton's hand and his grip tightened.

"Good, then I don't need to confess. Me and Ashton are dating and if you don't like it it's not my problem. Your my brother and you of all people should accept-" he interrupted me.

"Cece, shut up of course I'm okay with it." He said and pulled me into a hug. Phew. He turned to Ashton. "You already know the terms, you hurt her, I'll chop your balls off." Ashton didn't look as scared as he did on his first encounter with Luke. "Yeah I get it Luke. I won't hurt her."

We got back in the car and went to the McDonalds drive thru so we wouldn't have to face Isaac again. After we got food, we were back on the road. Day 2 of the roadtrip and I was already happier than I've ever been. I could get used to this.

I sat in beside Luke so that Sophie and Calum could get time to themselves. Michael slept in the back at the opposite end of the seat from them and Ashton slept in the far back. The jeep had 2 rows of seats, front, back and then had a small open space. We packed that full of blankets and pillows and duvets.

Me and Luke got into some deep conversations during the period that we were the only ones still awake. Deeper than they've ever went. And that's pretty deep.

"Hey Luke?"

"Hm?"

"If you died tonight, what would you regret not telling someone?"

"Wow C, that's pretty morbid." He joked until he seen my face. I wasn't smiling. I wasn't laughing. Nothing. He knew everything I had been through before. It broke the poor kids heart to see me like that. "Look, are you feeling like that again? Because you can tell me C. You know you can."

"It's not like that Luke, im just curious." I say lying down across the two front seats putting my head on Luke's lap and facing the ceiling.

"It's just since I met Ashton I'm so much happier and I don't want to regret not telling him things. Should I tell him about how I used to be?"

"I think you should, what's the point of a relationship if you can't tell them anything, so you're aswell just ripping the bandaid off and getting it over with. As long as you're happy C, I'm happy because it killed me to see you like that, holed up in your room 24/7, not eating, not speaking, you were like an inanimate object and what killed me most was that somewhere in that empty canvas of a human being, was my sister. My own twin. My sister who would have crazy jam sessions to All Time Low in the living room, who was forever smiling and laughing her head off, my sister who is the kindest most caring most beautiful person I know." By this point Luke's voice had cracked. He was crying. Luke never cried. That poor kid. I sat up, I started crying too, I hated knowing this is what I had put him through. When I was shutting myself away from others, I didn't think how it would affect others, my parents, my friends, my own twin brother. Luke had pulled over to the side of the road, wrapped his arms around me and cried, harder than he has ever cried before. We cried into each other for a little while before it died down enough for me to say "I'm sorry Luke, I'm so so sorry."

He just let out light sobs every now and again and whispered, "it's okay, it's okay, I'm sorry I couldn't do anything to help."

I started to drift off before Luke grabbed 2 pillows from the back seat and laid my head down on one at one side of the seat and he lay down on the other end.

From 100 miles a minute to lying completely still, all that could be heard was the light sound of breathing coming from the 5 runaways sleeping in a run down jeep.

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-.authors note

hi friends, another lil update for ya's and a pretty emotional one too, I cried while writing it.

wow I need a life.

this chapter was just to kinda give you guys an idea of how bad Cece's depression was in previous months and how others (Luke) coped with it.

it was kinda shitty sorry man it's hard so I've just kinda winged this chapter since like half an hour ago and it's like 1am here and I am suuuuper tired.

I will be updating more frequently but I'm sorry if I slack a bit because I've got biiiiig exams coming up and you know i gotta studyyyy:( but I will definitely try my hardest to update more often so there will be a lot more chapters where this came from

also I've got a kik for anyone who has questions or for anyone who would just like to talk, I will reply to anyone so just go for it!!

my kik username is toni5sos

so message me if Ya wanna or don't if you don't wanna, your choice tbh

but thankyou to all of you guys for reading and I love you all

stay weird
-T