Dreams

untold conversations 1

22.3.21, a very tired evening,

Maybe I am being too cautious or over thinking. But I can't help.

One of my friends in college, told me that she rejected a proposal for arranged marriage because that boy was a nerd, it was one among many other reasons.

Well, technically, I am a nerd too! , anybody seeing me from outside would think that I am a very studious and serious person who doesn't enjoy life. But in reality, I would have enjoyed my life so much better than others. I have a very tight friends gang, I never thought like I was studious.

Now, this scares me, a bit.

What if you judge me like that too? , someone might tell you that I am a robot, but how would I prove that I do live my life in my own terms?

Who knows, you might hate reading! , but this is the most comfortable form of communication for me. How would I make you know!

Yes, you are right, I am jobless right now. That's why I am thinking all these. Maybe, this time, you were not at all thinking about me. And I shouldn't expect too.

If you are reading this, then it means, we met and I trust you enough to show you all this rants.

I also want to prepare for the worst.

What are my expectations?

If you had asked me this question five years ago, I would have told, I want someone who is a writer and avid reader , someone interested in sports, someone who is more social than me, someone who is a good leader, someone who knows to handle stress in a cool way, someone who can support or supplement me in everything I lack , the list would have had lots of things like this.

Fast forward to present, what are my expectations now,

1.Someone who is open to communication even on the hardest fights or arguments, someone who is ready to sit down and talk about the issue face to face and find the solution for it. Someone who is ready to listen and talk about the issue. No silent treatment, no raising of voice.

Let's fire out the anger with pillow fights. Even a smallest misunderstanding should be cleared that day itself.

Maybe you are not talkative and maybe you won't speak up. But if this communication is perfect, any issue can be solved.

Nobody is going to live a life filled with roses. Arguments are a part of it, how we handle them is our talent.

2.Someone who understands my insecurities - in appearance or other skills , someone who knows what I don't like and doesn't use that against me.

Example, I might hate feeling left out in a new place where I came with you, even when you have to talk with your friends, I just want you to make sure that I don't sit alone somewhere like I am lost.

3.Someone who is strong and confident in whatever job he does. I do have a disinterest in software field, because most people who join there do it just for the sake of salary, their passion would have been something else. I hope you keep your passion alive.

4.Obviously, you should look smart. I don't have any expectations on appearance and all. But you should be fit and be in the trend. Some people look like 10 years older than their actual age, because of their wrong choice of clothes and style. You should look your age. I can help as much as possible too. 🙈, you can help me too.

5.Someone who is not scared to take responsibility. A marriage is not for the sake of families , it is a huge responsibility. It is a very long journey.

At any point of time, you shouldn't be scared to take responsibility of the financial conditions or health conditions. Responsibilities are shared. When I can't handle, you need to support me. When you can't handle, I should support you. But as soon as the conditions are stable, you should be ready to run again. I would be too. There should be no giving up.

6.someone who respects me as an equal being and understands my passion, my goals, my career , my friendships and my family as his own. Someone who is ready to give me financial freedom, without ego.

7.someone who loves to explore new places and new cultures.

8.someone who has strong values and doesn't compare with others. Someone who loves his friends and has true friends to rely on.

Someone who is independent in taking decisions. No offense, but I have seen boys who are too dependent on their parents for every single decision, some even share the chats with their girl friends to their mothers. It's not bad being a mama's boy, but there should be limits. In emergency, you should be strong enough to take sensible and independent decisions.

No, I am not saying you should go against your parents. I am also not saying that you shouldn't share anything. I am asking you to think what can be shared to others and what cannot be. Also, if any problem comes, we should be each other's first option. You can share with your friends, I can share with mine, but there shouldn't be a third person in between us.

9.I forgot to add the most important point, you should know how to handle your past relationships ( if you had any, I would be surprised if you didn't have any relationships in the past, well, I can't say though. At your age, you might have crossed similar things that I crossed) .

No, I am not as novel as jyothika in sillunu oru kadhal to find your wounds and bring back your ex. I would rather murder you. So make sure that, anything in the past ended in the past. Any comparison to your ex, will be the death of you.

Also, if you haven't come out of that past relationship, don't step into this new relationship, stop the marriage and heal yourself first. It is your duty to heal your wounds. And it is my duty to heal my wounds.

I have heard stories of boys still thinking about their ex even after the marriage with someone else, because they couldn't move on. That's the worst thing that can happen to any girl.

If you haven't moved on, move on. If you are all clear with any past relationships, make sure that it doesn't create any trouble for the present.

10) also I love surprise gifts. Not costly ones, a small handwritten note or a text will make me happy. The last point is , to know how to express love. To show that you love someone in a very special way, it need not be grand, it can be silent and still express all your feelings.

As much as we are taught to express our anger through shouting, we were never taught to express love openly. Let's learn how to express love for each other in the everyday life, even when we get used to each other after 20 or 30 years , still surprises can give life to it.

You are sleepy? , yeah it must have been boring. I can type another 1000 words just like that. Also,tell me what are your expectations on me?

See you next time.