Journal Entrie (2)

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Alexander Black

Journal Entrie (2)

My plan is not working.  I seem to only think about Magnus the whole day, I can't even focus on my work.  Magnus is interesting to me, he is making me re-think my whole life.

I drew a picture of him and I only did that so I can tell my men about him and what they need to do.  I am trying to learn the techniques of the Rivers' mob and use them.

But what Magnus wanted in return was way to much, the last boyfriend I actually had was Gabriel.  Now I am "dating" his son.  Or that is what Magnus wants. 

I know I am going to be pussy wiped by Magnus because he can just stop working with me anytime and that is what I'm scared of. 

It's not dying or falling off a building.  I'm scared of falling in love.  I'm scared of Magnus.  I already know he brought up some old feelings.  He did at the party that happened a few weeks ago but tonight, all I wanted was to memorize his lips. 

Now that I know what Magnus lips test like, my wife just doesn't do it for me.  I have to think of Magnus or I won't even think about kissing a female.

I need more time to know what I want.  I know that Magnus probably doesn't even want a real relationship.  He shouldn't want a real relationship, he is young, he still has all this time to find a soulmate and he should just settle for a Mafia boss that kills, no one should have to see that side of me.

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