Close As Strangers // c.h.

15

Calum's POV

Before Luke forced me to get some sleep I made sure that I sent many texts to Ren telling her how much I love and care for her, what else was I supposed to do, I just can't let her go yet.

When I finally woke, it was about 9 am, I looked at my phone to see if Ren ever texted me back. I expected to find at least something from her, something signaling that she is okay, but there wasn't, and this makes me incredibly nervous. I felt a pang in my chest, and it tightened up. I knew exactly what was happening. I haven't had a panic attack since I was at least 10 years old, but I was always told that they could pop up when I get stressed.

I guess that day is today.

I started breathing heavy, trying to suck in every bit of air that I can, because right now I feel like I'm not getting any. The tight feeling in my chest cramped up even more, and it felt even more like I can't breathe. I put my head into my lap in an attempt to get blood flow to the brain and maybe get the tight feeling in my chest out.

I started seeing black shadows around the outsides of my eyes signaling I was about to pass out from the lack of air. I then feel a hand on my back, and someone trying to stuff something into my hand. I then hear the voice of the person by me.

"Come on, Cal. Calm down buddy, you're doing great, take your inhaler. Come on, Cal, calm down your breathing," it was Luke that was right next to me. He forced my hand up to my mouth and I was able to take a breath of the inhaler.

He sat with me until I finally calmed down. I thankfully made it without passing out.

"Are you alright, Cal? You haven't had one of these since you were young," he looked genuinely frightened for me, but I frankly didn't want to poor my heart out to him more than I already have. So, I gave him the simplest answer I could. "Ren never texted me back. She always gives me something, even when she's mad, but I got nothing," I put my head in my hands not knowing what to do.

"Cal, she could just be sleeping, you know," he said.

"But Luke, I called her when it was 3 pm there, and I texted her right after she hung up, she saw my messages," I answered.

"Look, Cal, I really think she is just fine, you're just over thinking things. I promise you," he said, trying to give me the best reassuring smile that he could.

"Well either way, I'm going to text her, and write that song, because that's really my only hope right now," I needed to finish that song if we want to play it tomorrow, we need to practice it all together.

"Whatever you need to do, mate," Luke said standing up and starting to make his way to the bathroom to probably take a shower. I then started to craft my text before I attempted to finish the song.

To: Renee Grace<3- - Look Ren, ik that you probably hate my guts and the last thing that you want to do is talk to me. But let me just tell you, I get it. I have been a fucking dick this entire tour and I have done nothing to deserve you, but what I'm begging for is another chance. I have been staring at this screen for 30 minutes now, not knowing what to say because there are no words to express how sorry I am that I have been acting this way this past 6 months. There are also no words to express how much I love you. I love you Renee Grace, and always have and I always will no matter what. You haven't texted me back yet, and neither have the other girls, and I understand if you are reading this and don't want to answer but I am seriously worried right now and I need to know that you are alright. I am literally dying being away from you, but you have to understand that I need this, and it's only 1 more month Ren, we can get through this... I know we can. Even though my dizzy head is numb, I know my heart is never giving up, You're the Reason, The Only Reason. I love you more than anything and I know now that you wont be texting me back. Please please please be alright. I love you forever and always, Renee Grace. I will be home sooner than it seems.