Close As Strangers // c.h.

20

*first italics are what Ren is thinking, Second italics are flashbacks*

*Ren's POV*

I hear crying.

"Ren, please please please wake up," I hear a voice that is nearly recognizable.

More crying.

'Guys I'm okay!' I wanted to scream out, but nothing happened. I try to open my eyes but nothing happened.

I then hear a voice, one I could pick out in any crowd. I can hear Calum talking, and I can't quite make out what he's saying. It's almost as if I'm underwater and he's above the surface trying to relay information to me. The last part of what he said came in clear though: "Just squeeze your hand, crinkle your nose, move your arms, anything to show me you're okay," he stressed to me.

I want to cry, scream, yell, give any sign that I'm alright, but I can't, it's like I'm paralyzed and I don't know what's going on.

'Calum I love you, I miss you, please don't worry I'm alright' I want to say to him but it's like my body just can't move.

But then I somehow push all my power to my hands, and in result got the slightest bit of movement from them.
Shit, Calum please feel that.

*Calum's POV*

The doctor gave me very specific instructions after he found out that I would not be leaving this room very often.

He explained that in a lot of cases, coma patients may not appear to be responsive or awake, but there is a chance that she can hear us. A chance that she can know I'm here.

He also warned me in saying that negative energy and words can drive her backwards in terms of recovery and vice versa, which means we have deemed this room a positive zone, and we can't be negative around each other or, even though this one is the hardest, cry around her. But when I'm alone I'm ashamed in saying that I do cry over her. I can't help it. Knowing that the love of your life is hurting and there is virtually nothing you can do to help her, it creates a hole in your stomach that you want to shake so badly, but just can't seem to do it.

A pit in your stomach has to be one of the worst feelings in the world. It makes you feel so many different things at once. It makes you feel sad, like you want to cry, but at the same time angry, like you want to punch something. The pit makes you want to throw up and feel sick, yet you feel nothing at all. When I was younger I used to get pits in my stomach when I failed a test or got in trouble, and I thought that feeling was bad, but when that feeling is an indication that you may be losing someone you care about, the feeling is terrible.

And knowing I can't shake this feeling until she gets better is the scariest part of it all.

I've been in this hospital for 3 days now, with no improvements from Ren. I have suffered through really no contact with anyone except for Kelly and an occasional visit for the boys or the girls, but those are few and far in between. It's really hard for them to be here, and if she's not improving and negative energy doesn't help her get better, than they'd rather just be supporting from afar.

Kelly is somewhat the same way, but she has an excuse; she still has a job. The station has given her sometime off here and there to visit, but she needs to work now more than ever to pay for Ren's medical bills.

What if she doesn't wake up? What if my love is pulled from my grasp and I can do nothing about it? What if I never get to see her beautiful, glistening eyes again?

I take her hand and put it in mine.

"I'm so sorry, Ren. I'm sorry I'm a dick of a boyfriend, I'm sorry that this happened. I'm sorry that I can't do anything to help you. I'm sorry for everything. If I would have never put you through hell and came back after those six weeks then you wouldn't have ever been in this situation. But overall, I love you Renee Grace. You are my world and if I lose you, then my world will come crashing down on me. I miss your beautiful eyes, your soft hair, your amazing smile, and your bright personality. I miss how your eyes light up when we talk about a band that you love, I miss your melodic laugh when I make a dumb joke. I miss our all-nighters where we talk about the world and everything in it, I miss talking about the plans that we have. Most of all I miss my world, my love, my Ren. Please baby, if you can hear me, do something. Just squeeze my hand, crinkle your nose, move your arms, anything to show me you're okay,"