With All My Heart || Sodapop Curtis x Reader

chapter 90

Y/n POV

"Hi y/n."

He leans against the doorframe looking a little disheveled. His hands shoved in his pockets and a small cut ran from below his eye to his cheek bone.

"Steve. What are you doing here?" I look at him surprised. "How did you get here?" I step out on the porch and close the door behind me, I didn't need my aunt getting involved.

"I caught the first bus up here, was hanging around the Curtis house when I saw you come home crying." He pulls out a small comb and slicks back his hair. "Figured you were upset and would do something stupid like come back here. You were always like that, sweet little y/n who never wanted conflict. I envy that about you, you're so peaceful, you never got into fights. It seems like that's all I can ever do" 

A small smile creeps across his face but he quickly hides it when he notices the rage bubbling off me. 

"Why are you here Steve?" I cross my arms over my chest.

He sighs and puts away his comb. He shuffles awkwardly in place, Steve was always like this. He was never the best at articulating his feelings into words.

"The things I said weren't fair to you." He finally manages.

"I agree."

"You know how much I love you, how much i love both you." Referring to me and Soda. "I really never wanted the things I said to come out that way, word vomit really fucks things up for me huh." He chuckles softly, almost with a hint melancholy.

I smile softly. I knew Steve. He never meant the things he said. Ever since we were kids he was like this, he never thought before he spoke.

"Y/n, I want you to know I'm happy for the both of you. I can't express that enough, I just don't want either of you hurt. Sodas been through it enough." He sits down. He wraps his arms around his knees. "He deserves someone good for him. I'm so sorry y/n. All those things I said, they were awful. And I never meant any of them. I was jealous, you came in from out of town and took him away from me."

I sit down next to him and lay my head on his shoulder.

"Hes blinded by love that boy. He never notices when there's something so perfect right in front of him." He sighs. "I've been with him my whole life and he is oblivious to everything, he ain't got a mean bone in his body. He lets people walk all over him. That's why I'm there for him. I'm the one who has always been there."

I close my eyes as he talks. When Steve wasn't yelling his voice was soothing.

"You know I never thought he'd fall in love again. After Sandy. I had always hoped it would be me and him against the world."

We're quiet for a minute. Soaking in the cool night air and listening to the soft hum of crickets.

"You're in love with him, aren't you?" I ask in a hushed tone. My eyes still closed. He shifts a little but doesn't say anything.

That was enough of an answer.

"I'm so sorry Steve."

He hushed me before I could keep talking. He wraps his arm around my shoulder.

"Its beautiful out tonight. I really like it out here, you can see the stars. Soda and I used to talk about leaving Tusla and going somewhere you could see the stars, as dumb as that sounds. Its something I've always looked forward to." His voice was filled with sorrow and regret. But I could tell he was smiling. Steve was in love with someone who would never love him back.

"Thats not dumb, I think that's beautiful." I look up at him.

"I think you coming back has helped me come to terms with everything." He looks over at me. "I'm accepting that the way I feel for him, he feels for you. And thats better than some greasy broad." He smiles softly.

"I love you Steve."

He kisses my forehead and rests his head on mine. He hums to himself and I join in. Steve had been holding that in for awhile, and im glad I was the one he told.

~Stay Gold Bitches