𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟-𝑐𝑟𝑜𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 | a.s x fem!reader

25 - Selfish

"Hello Starlight."

Every time I come face to face with my brother once again, it just reminds me of how far gone he truly was. It reminded me of how I had lost the very person I treasured the most in this whole entire galaxy and of how he has been consumed by this monster of a man. I cant help but blame myself for what happened to him; I just think that if he would have spoken to me at least once about all the things he was going through, maybe we could have worked past this. Maybe I could have convinced Mother to give him another chance as her successor... and also as her son.

"Ayzel please, I beg you to stop this madness. Come home, come back to me!" I bring myself to speak to the hologram in front of me, my voice wavering as I stared into the cold, unforgiving eyes of my older brother.

"There is no home for me anymore, (y/n). Don't you see? My own Mother cast me away, my father left me and you... well you did nothing to help me," Ayzel spat back at me, his fist shaking a little as he dangled it limply at his side.

"Ayzel I didn't know! You wouldn't even speak to me just before you... just before Mother died!" I yelled, holding my hand to my heart as my eyes watered, Ayzel rolling his eyes at my inability to accept the fact that he was the one who killed her in cold blood. "Don't you remember? Don't you remember that night in the Temple?"

"(y/n)-"

No. For once, he needed to listen. He needed to listen to me.

Trying to blink back the tears, I clutch both of my hands close to my chest and stare at Ayzel intensely into the soulless voids which were his eyes, "That day you spent hours out on the streets in Vis helping the townspeople, aiding the troops that happened to be passing through; all because you were trying to win over Mother's affection. You returned earlier that night and she lectured you, yelled at you, 'casted you away' and you ran off to the Temple. You never told me why, but I was still there for you Ayzel. I was there. I blew off my studies to comfort you. I dropped everything so you wouldn't be alone and to let you know much I needed you."

"(y/n)-"

"No! I was the only one who has ever been there for you Ayzel. I stuck by you; no matter the situation, no matter how badly you screwed up, I was always there. So don't you dare say I did nothing to help. Don't you dare!"

My body was quaking with all my emotions as I tried desperately to not allow myself to break down in front of him. I just couldn't, not again. I grasped tightly onto my thumbs wrapped carefully inside my fist as I stared at the hologram in front of me, the blue light appearing hazy due to the misty tears in my eyes.

"She reprimanded me for trying to stop her from destroying the very last thing we had of our father."

"What?" I say to him, confusion colouring my voice as I failed to understand what he was talking about.

Ayzel casted his eyes to the floor and let out a heavy sigh, "That was what happened. I returned to the palace after my charity work to tell her I could be responsible, and I found her trying to burn the Jedi textbooks and his robes. I tried to stop her, but she had already thrown them in the flames by the time I reached her. She told me I was a disgrace, that I reminded her of him and how she couldn't understand why I couldn't be more like.."

"Like what, Ayzel?" I say to him in a hushed, reassuring voice. As I watched him search for his words, I saw the way in which his eyes grew sad, his posture becoming limp as he recalled the pain Mother had inflicted upon him since he was young.

For a moment, I really thought I was so close to getting my brother back and bringing my Ayzel back to me. That was until I noticed his fists ball up suddenly, his eyes darting up to mine through his eyebrows with a stone cold, evil snare glinting in them.