jads <3

i thought you died

⚠️TW⚠️

- mads pov still -

i try ringing him no answer what if what if he has died what if he has crashed his car or something it would be my fault i'm the reason he was driving omg i killed him i can't live with myself anymore i don't deserve to be loved or to be alive anymore i shouldn't be here.....

- 2 days later -

i haven't been eating i haven't left my room i have lost loads of weight my ED is coming back i know it is i can feel it even when i think about food i feel like throwing up sometimes i do i have tried calling jaden no answer he hasn't posted on tiktok in awhile or instagram i have lost him i had lost my confidence my smile my happiness my everything i get up i go to my window i stand on the edge of it i could jump right now and no one would care about me i didn't want anyone to i go to my phone i see a photo of all my friends but jaden he wasn't there maybe he went home or something maybe he wasn't really dead but we all know i'm just trying to stay away from the fact he might / possibly is dead my mom is out of town i go downstairs i start drinking loads i'm also crying like a lot i have gone through about 7 bottles of alcohol already i'm black out drunk right now i can't even remember why i was crying but i was okay i open my phone up i see a photo of me and jaden and i cry for about 20 minutes straight i drink some more coz yeah i don't wanna feel anything anymore (mood tbh) i go to the kitchen draw where we keep all of the knifes and shit i pick on its really sharp i touch the blade it bleeds it dosent hurt me tho i sit down next to the bottle i drink some more i put the knife down someone knocks on the door

mads: GO AWAY

i pick up the knife and i'm about to slit my wrists open someone rushes in and stops me i can't see who but he was tall blonde hair blue eyes and strong he was gorgeous i could stare into his eyes for days i start crying he holds me tight he puts the knife away as i break down and cry into his arms he smelled like jaden looked like him and sounded like him maybe he was jaden but no he was dead right

mads: who are you

??: someone who loves you to much

mads: i don't deserve to be loved at all

??: don't lie mads

mads: how do you know my name

??: i love you mads lewis

mads : j-

and then i collapsed into the mans arms i fell asleep due to the amount of sleep i had have (none) he carries me to my room he lays next to me and we cuddle jaden was back i guess

-  next day -

i wake up with a huge ass headache i'm next to jaden he is staring at the wall and playing with my hair i jump up quickly i start freaking out and tears run down my face he gets up and tries to hug me but i push him away

mads: YOU YOU YOU DIED

jaden: mads what are you on
about no i never

mads: yeah you did jaden

jaden: mads i'm alive

mads: I HATE YOU...YOU IGNORED ME FOR 2 DAYS JADEN YOU MADE ME BELIEVE YOU DIED I DIDNT EAT I- I THOUGHT I LOST YOU JADEN

i burst out in tears he hugs me i let him he kisses me and makes me face him he wipes away my tears

jaden: you will never lose me baby girl i love you and only you and you can never loose your soulmate can you he or her will always be apart if you forever for eternity no matter what happens baby

he kisses me i feel safe happy i kiss back duhh he was everything my reason to live and breath

mads: jaden....

jaden: yeah baby

mads: don't leave me again please

jaden: i won't mads lewis and tonight me and you are going out to a party okay ?

i nod my head he hugs me

jaden: mads and also tomorrow we are taking you to the doctors okay

mads: no not okay jaden i refuse to go

jaden: mads you know it's for your own good

mads: fine only if you stay with me

jaden: of course i will i'm not leaving you again i promise you madison rose lewis

he kisses me and i start getting ready

A/n: did you like this chapter i'm sorry if you did not    Word Count : 818