Green And Gold - A Loki X Reader Book Of Imagines And More

I'm Too Tired, Loki

*Author's Note - PLEASE READ: 

Alright, so I haven't exactly uploaded anything in a while. I have ideas, but no inspiration. Does that make sense? My mental health is taking its sweet time to figure out what it wants, so I wrote this. If you're struggling with your mental health, please don't read this one. 

Thank you for all of your love and support ~* 

Y/N's POV 

Maybe scrolling through Tumblr was a mistake. I know I shouldn't be reading these types of quotes. I can't help it, okay? Well, maybe I can, but I don't want to help it. I'm too tired. 

"Y/N, love, are you awake?" 

Curses! I forgot what time it is. I quickly dived under the covers, hiding my phone screen-side-down under my pillow. 

"You do know I'm the god of lies, right?" 

I kept up my false charade, hoping he would drop it. 

He didn't. 

"Y/N, I know you aren't sleeping." There was a pause. "Darling," he began, "it's two in the morning." 

I rolled over in defeat, opening my eyes. "Fine, you win." 

The room was dark, but I could sense his victorious smirk. "I always win. Now, tell me, what troubles you, my dear?" 

I sit up restlessly, tossing my hair over my shoulder. "I'm so tired, Loki. I can't keep doing this." 

Loki sat beside me. "Define 'this'." 

"THIS!" I cried pathetically. "I'm not... I can't... I'm so sick of existing! I try to sleep the pain away, but I'm always tired! When I try to drown out the thoughts - oh my goodness, the neverending and obsessive thoughts - even my favorite music just makes it worse. I don't want to eat because I want to be thin, even though I know starving doesn't induce weight loss! I'm so sick of everything and everyone, I just can't breathe happily. I can't stand myself! I'm too tired, Loki. I just want to go away until I feel okay again, but I don't think I ever will." My voice cracked on the last half of my final sentence, yet I couldn't bring myself to look at him. 

For a moment, he didn't say anything. I guessed he didn't know what to say, and who could blame him? I gave him more than he asked for, a typical me-thing to do. 

Loki exhaled calmly. In mere seconds, he gave me everything I could ever need, and he didn't say a word. 

Every negative emotion fled from me as I felt his cool embrace surround me. Somehow, the simple gesture made everything I was afraid of disappear. My chest tightened, and my eyes swelled up with tears, but as long as his arms were around me, I knew I was going to be okay. 

He didn't let go, either. We stayed like that for quite some time, how long I don't exactly know. His touch made me feel normal. His embrace made me feel safe. His empathy told me I wasn't alone. 

Loki understood. 

To anyone who ignored my author's note, you're not alone. Loki may not be literally real, but he is to me. Loki would be proud of you. Keep fighting. <3