Green And Gold - A Loki X Reader Book Of Imagines And More

You're Alive (Loki X Reader)

*Author's Note - Please Read:

Alrighty, so I've been feeling really depressed lately. I'm gradually getting worse, and I really need some Loki love. I know I haven't posted an update in FOREVER, and I'm sorry. I'm drowning in stress over school and other responsibilities, so I've been a little busy. This chapter is going to be really dark and depressing, and I hate to drag everyone down, but this is just where I'm at right now. Anyway, enough about me and my depressing excuses. It will contain a suicide attempt. If you don't like reading these types of things, please don't read this chapter. If you get triggered by reading these types of things, please don't read this chapter! I want all of you to stay safe and happy. Thank you for all of your support. <3*

L/N = Last name 

Y/N's POV 

I can't breathe. I must be overthinking this. 

"How are you overthinking this? All you have to do is read the words on the dang page!" the voice screeched. 

Breathe. You can do this. 

We're only in 4th period. I've made it (barely) halfway through the schoolday. 

There's only a few more hours left to go. 

All you have to do is make it through the next paragraph. It's one word at a time... Just one word at a time... Deep breaths. 

Why is this classroom so cold?

I closed the book I was holding, giving up on the paragraph. 

"Coward," the voice muttered. 

I swallowed hard even though nothing was in my mouth. My gaze danced around the room until I found what I was looking for.

A pair of scissors was laid mockingly on the desk in front of me. No one sat there. A senior most likely left them there last period. 

I glanced around to make sure no one was watching, and when I was sure, I slipped the scissors into my backpack. 

No one would know... 

And no one would care. 

Third Person POV, at the Avengers Tower 

Loki sat reading a book in the common room. He was just about to turn the page when Tony's unusually quiet voice was heard in the next room. 

"Y/N tried to do what?" Tony practically whispered. 

Loki's ears perked up at the mention of your name. Concern washed over him. 

Was everything okay? 

Tony nodded. "Of course. We'll be right there." 

Loki stood, forgetting the book in his hands immediately. "Stark, what's wrong?" 

Tony looked to Loki with a hurtful gaze. "Y/N attempted suicide at school." 

A million questions raced through Loki's mind in mere seconds, but before he could ask a single one, Tony spoke again. "She's alive. They called 911, and she's in intensive care at the hospital. We need to go." 

Y/N's POV, in the hospital 

I couldn't stop crying. 

"Miss L/N, you have a visitor." 

All I could do was cry. 

"Darling?" 

It was Loki. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. 

I felt a cold finger tilt my chin up to look at him. He too was crying. 

"Why?" he asked. 

"I-I-I'm sorry, I just..." I stuttered, my voice cracking like thunder. 

"Hey, hey, look at me," his cold hands guided my gaze to meet his. "I'm not mad at you." 

I looked at him in surprise through my puffy, red eyes. "You're not?" I croaked. 

Loki forced a smile. "Of course not, darling. I love you." 

My heart ached. I knew I messed up. 

"I love you too, Loki." 

"Promise me two things," he said. "First, if you ever feel this way again, you will come to me. Secondly, don't ever scare me like that again." 

Tearfully, I nodded. "I promise." 

Loki glanced at your bandaged wrist and sighed. "Why, darling?" 

"It's simple, yet it's so complicated. I don't want to live, but at the same time, I don't want to hurt anyone. I'm getting worse every day. I don't know how, and I don't know why, but I am. I hate myself, and I hate everything about me. I just wanted to feel okay again. I just want to be good enough..." 

Loki winced. He loved you so much; how could you say such things about yourself? 

"Y/N, you are good enough. You are loved. You are smart. You are really, really, beautiful," Loki said, making me blush. "You're the greatest person I have ever met, and I don't know what I would do without you. We will get through this. Together," Loki said, squeezing my hand. 

I sighed. We both knew I didn't believe all of those kind things he said about me. 

As if he read my mind, he said, "you don't have to believe me now. I'll believe in you enough for the both of us." 

I moved over on my tiny hospital bed. "Cuddle me?" I asked shyly. 

Loki smirked. "Gladly, my dear." 

I relaxed for the first time that day as I laid in his arms. "I'm sorry," I whispered. 

"Shh, it's okay. You're alive, and that's all that matters right now."