CANNONBALL ⇒ jegulus

NINE

Regulus finds himself taking the back alley route into the dressing room quite a lot now. The overwhelming smell of alcohol and cigarettes turns his stomach, the baby must hate it. Regulus sure knows he hates it, so maybe he and the sprog aren't that different. Maybe the poor kid will take entirely after him.

Something Regulus thinks has become his biggest fear; a son or daughter just like him.

"Hey," Lily greets him as soon as he ducks his head coming through the doorway. "How're you doing, Reg?" She asks.

Regulus nods as he sits next to Lily on the sofa. "I'm alright. Where's everyone else?"

"Already gone on stage to get ready, believe it or not," Lily smirks. "Sirius went on a rant about how they have to be more punctual, y'know; now that they're really takin' off," She muses softly. "How's everything going baby wise? You're alright after last week, yeah? James and Sirius just got a little too....much.....about it," She shakes her head.

"I'm okay. M'sorry you all had to deal with that," Regulus sighs. He can faintly hear Sirius greeting the crowd. "What's got you hidden away back here?" He inquires just as Lily shrugs.

"Just felt like hanging back from it all tonight. Better get used to having my Saturday and Friday evenings free, eh? They'll be going in the next month, to tour, y'know,"

Regulus nods. "Oh shit, yeah. I forgot about that," He considers how many trains James will have to get on to come back and fourth for the baby, for baby based appointments. "Shit, I forgot...."

"Baby brain, mate," Lily smiles softly. "You didn't answer me. How is the baby?"

"Inside of me," Regulus replies dryly. "I've got an appointment soon enough, so I'll let you know then, eh? I don't think James will be gone before then,"

"Oh?" Lily bites back a grin. "So this is really it, eh? He's really all in? God, I was going to kill him if he pulled a runner-" She halts suddenly. "Shit, m'sorry. You probably don't want to even entertain that though,"

Regulus shakes his head. "It's alright, he won't leave, I know he won't," James Potter is too filled with chivalry to do so. But Regulus has another fear. One that many unexpected expecting parents don't usually have. "I'm just scared he'll stay," He whispers.

Lily frowns. "Regulus...." She says slowly. Regulus sighs.

"If he stays, he'll miss out on a dream he's had since he was so young. I can't take that away from him. I don't want him to stay, it would be selfish to make him-"

"Stop that right now," Lily curses under her breath. "James has always wanted to settle down with kids, he can't be a rock star forever-"

"But he hasn't even gotten to start being a rock star yet," Regulus argues. "I won't be the reason he doesn't go...." He glances towards his belly, his flat belly that has yet to show any evidence of his child. "I won't let the sprog be the reason either,"

Lily sighs, running a hand down Regulus' shoulder. "You do realize there is no way they'll go without you? Right?" She pauses. "I mean, Sirius practically smothers you already. I don't think he could bear to part with you. Especially not when you're pregnant," She adds.

"I can't do that. I can't go on a fucking tour. Especially not when I'm pregnant," Regulus uses Lily's words. He sighs softly. "It wouldn't be fair. They're in their early twenties, all of 'em are, they'll want to be out every night....living their lives! I can't take that from them-"

Lily stops him. "You know that James thinks he's ruined your life?" She doesn't let Regulus answer before, "And you think you're ruining his chances to 'have' a go at making a life " Lily sighs. "You're both being so silly. You're not ruining each others lives, but if you don't get it together, you won't be giving this baby a fair start,"