CANNONBALL ⇒ jegulus

FORTY ONE

Regulus and Lily share his bed.

It is an odd sleeping arrangement but Lily hadn't wanted him to be alone, even it she was just downstairs on the sofa.

And so, this is how Regulus wakes up. He spots her pile of slightly knotted red hair peeking out from over the covers instantly, her pretty face having disappeared beneath it throughout the night. The night had felt long and painful and Regulus feels a dull ache strike him in his heart.

It had been a horrible night, right from the moment Lily stepped through the door. Regulus had cried and cried and cried. Rather uglily, in his pathetic opinion. Once the front door had opened and Lily had come face to face with red rimmed grey eyes, she enveloped Regulus in a smotheringly tight hug.

She rubbed his back softly. "Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry," She had gently whispered in his ear. Her voice was tender and sweet and it had made Regulus want to cry more.

They eventually pulled apart and Lily reached to close the front door. "I honestly can't believe this happened," She commented. "I'm so, so terribly sorry, Reg. This is horrible, James is horrible-"

Regulus had meekly interrupted her, bowing his head as he whispered quietly, "No," His voice was raspy and croaked. Filled with raw, terrible hurt. "No he isn't, he....he really isn't," He had shook his head, hiccuping bitterly. "I...Lily, I need him, I need him so much it....it fucking hurts, alright?"

And that had been all Regulus could bring himself to say.

Rolling over slowly and quietly, Regulus reaches for his phone. He is met with several text messages. Scrolling, he begins to read them.

I'm sorry.

Is the first one James sends at exactly quarter past two in the morning.

So, so, so very sorry.

Regulus continues scrolling.

I can't believe I fucked this up.

Regulus can't believe it either.

He wonders how many more texts he's going to have to scroll through before he feels his heart wrench painfully.

I was never the writer between us but for now I'll try. Regulus, I love you so much. I really do, Reg. I know you won't believe it now, but you're the only real thing I've ever had. Everything has always been so confusing for me. I never knew who I liked, boys or girls