Hiding Behind the Lenses (Arte del Amor #3)

Chapter 30

"No. I'm not breaking up with you." he said with finality.

Before I could even react after being caught off guard with what he just said, he grabbed his keys on top of the dresser and then planted a kiss on my forehead.

It was a kiss as gentle as ever.

"We're not breaking up, Lumi. That's not gonna happen. If I have to court you again, so be it."

He's been going at it since that day.

Kahit anong ipilit niya... wala na talaga.

Today, I woke up with flowers by my bedside table.

I felt nothing but guilt. I wronged him and I get to be treated this way? This good? It's not fair to him.

In his head, we haven't broken up... but I know for a fact that we're over. Ayaw niya lang tanggapin.

My shoulders fell and my heart sank when I saw him cooking breakfast in my kitchen like always. "Nichole, don't do this. Sige na. That is enough."

Hindi siya tumingin sa akin. Patuloy lang siya sa ginagawa niya na para bang hindi niya narinig ang sinabi ko.

Tigil na sabi.

Ang hirap hirap na makita siya araw-araw. Ang sakit na makita siyang sumusubok pa rin, kahit ilang beses kong ulitin na tama na.

It was foolish of me to think that what we had would last longer.

At the back of my mind, I've always known that I will always, always obey my mother. Being with Nikolai is nothing near obeying her.

Maybe I've always known that what we have isn't forever, but I sure as hell wished it was so.

She was so happy when I told her that we've broken up. How can I break her heart? How could I remove that smile from her face again?

I don't want to. She's family... and the only one who will ever love me.

I shook my head violently to erase that last thought.

Tangina. At some point of my life, I believed that with all of my being. That only her would love me.

Alam ko na hindi totoo 'yon pero parang nakatanim na sa akin iyon at nakakapit na ang bawat ugat ng mga salitang iyon sa buong pagkatao ko.

It would be so wrong to still believe that after everything Nikolai has done for me...

Iniwan ko si Nikolai sa kusina para maligo at magbihis. Nang dumaan ako doon ay nakita kong nakaupo na siya sa hapag at nakahain ang pagkain.

"Where are you going?" tanong niya, tinitingnan ang itsura kong bihis na bihis.

"Brunch with Silver."

I was quick to turn around and walk outside of my own unit. Ayaw kong makita ang reaksyon niya at mas lalong ayaw kong hintayin pa ang isasagot niya.

I have to help him let me go.

He has to do it. He has to let me go. We were both in it for the long haul but I don't think the long haul was for us.