Hiding Behind the Lenses (Arte del Amor #3)

Chapter 34

It was so hard to contain my thoughts while I'm getting ready to walk down the runway.

The thought that this is going to be the last time I'd be here can't quite register in my mind, yet it felt thrilling.

It's an honor to have been chosen to model for this brand, but that's just the surface level. The actual feeling is more like being seen, for being good enough to be seen as worthy.

Was I really that good in this career?

Maybe it's possible to be good at something and still feel like it isn't for me. Perhaps that's fine.

Being good at it doesn't mean I have to stay.

It's not making me happy, and I couldn't afford to quit for a long time but now that I can, I'll take that chance.

The time that I had lost pursuing this is lost time, I can never get that back... but being acknowledged for everything that I have done so far kind of makes it better for me to accept. It makes me think that maybe, somehow, it was not a total waste of time.

Which is a good mindset for me because I really cannot afford to regret anything now.

"Lost in thought?"

Nilapit ni Kennedy ang mukha niya sa akin kaya bumalik ang isip ko sa totoong mundo.

I chuckled, "Kind of."

We've been acquaintances since I entered the international modeling world, but we aren't that close with each other, like on a personal level. But here's the thing... sometimes, it's better that way.

We do not have to open up our soul completely to someone to have fun with them.

Hanging around and spending time together can also be that. It's simple. We don't have to make a big fuss out of it.

If it is fun, it's fun.

That's my relationship with every other model chosen to walk on this show.

They're honestly good people to be casual with, because I wouldn't know any better if I do not know anything else about them.

For all as I know, I do not know them enough to experience their toxicity if ever that have it.

Since I arrived in Paris for the Fashion Week, we've been just... hanging around. Having fun.

"I heard there are a lot of big personalities in the crowd." sabi ng isa sa mga nag-aayos sa amin.

No one reacted because they're so used to it by now. The models here are literally more famous than the personalities they are talking about.

This is going to be the last outfit for the day.

And for my whole modeling career.

"Excuse me," tawag ko sa isang staff na napadaan sa vanity ko.

She quickly attended to me. "Can you please get Kit for me? Thank you so much,"

Tumango lang siya dahil kilala naman na ng lahat kung sino ang nasa team ko. Especially my manager. I watched her walking towards me with that sad look on her face. "Should I have worn black?" I asked to lighten her mood.

Kit rolled her eyes, "For your information, I am not yet ready to go unemployed. I can't believe I'm not going to make decisions for you from now on!"

"Psh, you'll be fine without me."

She dreams of going to fashion school and without worrying about me, she can do that now.

Pretty sure she's loaded enough to be able to afford it and still be able to live well without worrying about money. A lot of models want her on there team too, and I am not going to stop her from accepting those offers.