Hiding Behind the Lenses (Arte del Amor #3)

Chapter 11

I left him standing in front of the chapel, alone. Hindi ko na kayang makatagal pa doon sa harapan niya. Halong inis, galit, at sakit ang nararamdaman ko pero ang unang dalawa ay para sa sarili ko. I don't really understand it.

I can't wrap my head around the reason why I feel this way.

Ngayong wala na siya sa paningin ko, hinahanap-hanap ko naman. Come on, Gemini! Pick a struggle! Hindi pwedeng tatanga-tanga kang ganito parati!

Pag-uwi ko sa bahay ay nadatnan ko si Mommy sa living room. I didn't expect her to be home this early. Nauna pa siya sa mga kuya ko.

"How's school?"

I kissed her cheek, "Fine."

Wala akong balak tumagal pa roon dahil pagod na ako at marami pa akong kailangang gawin para bukas. I thought she was going to let me go like usual but she motioned for me to sit down.

Umupo ako sa couch na gilid ng inuupuan niya. Yakap ko ang bag ko sa hita ko habang sinasandal ang likod ko sa upuan. Habang ako ay parang pagod na pagod, ang upo naman ni Mommy ay diretso at nagsusumigaw pa rin ng dignidad. Ang kinang ng mga perlas niyang hikaw ay halos makapagpabulag sa akin.

I smiled to myself. My Mommy really is so pretty. I wonder if I really look like her?

"Remember back when you were just about to enter high school? When you asked me to transfer you schools?"

I hummed, "Opo." Hindi ko alam, pero ginusto ko talagang magtago sa lahat pagkatapos ng nangyari noon. 'Yong hindi ko pagdalo sa graduation dahil wala akong makukuhang award. I felt so humiliated. I never want to show my face to anyone again after that, especially to Giana and Syd.

"Let's do that now."

Halos maibugha ko ang kung ano kahit wala naman akong iniinom. It made me instantly nervous. Why now? I was just starting to appreciate the school I'm currently attending!

I finally have something to look forward to. You can't just take that away from me.

Tumikhim si Mommy at nagpatuloy, "An agency wants to sign a contract with you as soon as you finish your last year in junior high. Maybe we'll move closer there. It's going to be your big break, Lumi."

Parang tanga akong natulala sa kaniya. "Where?"

"Manila."

"Manila!" I gasped.

Mula sa binabasa niya sa kaniyang cellphone ay tumingin na siya sa akin. "Why? Don't you like it? I'm just fulfilling what you were asking of me years ago, anak."

I sat there in complete awkwardness. "Besides, patatapusin muna natin ang school year na ito. Like I said, after junior high. Enjoy it while you can."

Napaisip ako. Ilang buwan na lang ba ang natitira? Less than half a year, even. By that time, will all of this be over? Kaibigan ko pa rin ba si Nikolai sa mga panahon na kailangan ko nang umalis?

Probably not. Everything we have started with a dare. For my friends' entertainment. I hate to admit it but it's bound to end at some point. Though I can't help but wish that it wouldn't.

"So? What do you say, Lumi?"

I smirked looking down. Do I even have a choice? This is just like everything else, already planned out for me. I am not granted with the thrill of what the future awaits, because I already know what my life will become.

Nakaplano na lahat para sa akin. I don't know if that is a good thing or not, but now that I really do not know what to do? I'll take it.

"Sounds good to me po, Mommy."