Hiding Behind the Lenses (Arte del Amor #3)

Chapter 19

"Thank you... for crying for me."

Humupa na ang mga luha ko at ang nangyari, siya pa ang nagmukhang nagpatahan sa akin imbes na mapagaan ko ang loob niya.

Humiwalay na ako sa pagkakayakap sa kaniya at tumayo na doon, iniwan siyang nakaupo sa sahig.

"K-Kung may girlfriend ka naman... dapat ay siya na lang ang umiyak para sa'yo."

"I do not have a girlfriend."

Nikolai as a high school boy was already enough to make my heart beat crazy, but Nikolai right now is way past beyond that.

Kakaiba.

He's grown so much... and I wasn't there to witness it. Kaya kung gugustuhin niya mang pumasok sa isang relasyon ay madali na lang iyon dahil sa dami ng mga nakapila sa kaniya.

"You have a lot of fans, it's impossible that you do not have a girlfriend at the very least!"

His stares were directed on the floor. "I do not have the time to find somebody new... and it's not like I'm trying to."

The roll of his tongue with every word made it sound like English is his first language. Pati ba naman pananalita niya, nagbago?

Without a word, he walked out. Hindi rin siya lumingon sa akin. Parang wala siya sa sarili niyang umalis at iniwan ako rito.

I ran after him, "Bakit ka ganito?" sigaw ko, tama lang para marinig niya.

"What... do you mean?"

"Why do you treat me this way? Sa akin ka lang ba ganito? This is cruel, Nikolai! Is it because I left you?"

Nakita ko ang marahan niyang pag-iling.

Dahan-dahan ko siyang tuluyang nilapitan. "If it is... I'm sorry. I was sixteen! I didn't know anything, all I wanted was to be validated my someone, something!"

"I know." sagot niya.

Nagpatuloy ako sa pagpapaliwanag. Hindi pa iyon sapat. Gusto kong malaman niya na hindi ko ginustong saktan siya noon!

"I longed for friends, for company who would want to be with me. Akala ko... akala ko, si Syd at Gia 'yon. I never wanted to hurt you!"

"I know."

"Then why this cold treatment, Nikolai?"

I'm pushing my chances right now. It took a lot in me to ask questions that I shouldn't be asking when I basically brought this upon myself the day I agreed to that freaking dare.

"I... I don't know."

"Are you mad at me for fooling you years back?"

"Yes... no,"

Humugot siya nang malalim na hininga bago muling iniwas ang tingin sa akin. Ang layo ng tingin niya sa langit. "... I just can't bring myself to care anymore."

Hell.

Bakit mas masakit iyon? Mas gusto ko na lang marinig sa kaniya na galit siya sa akin, dahil kapag ganoon ay at least alam kong may pakialam pa rin siya!

Nang tumalikod siya ay akala ko iiwan niya na ako ulit. Pero laking gulat ko nang bumalik siya sa harapan ko.

"Will you be on your way home? I'll take you,"