LIGHT FROM THE DESERT✓

||CHAPTER 13||

||KESELI||

The house is locked. It means Zawadi must have gone out. I will wait till she comes back so that I can apologise. She was hurt. I hurt her. Of all people, I should be the one who understood her. I didn't. But it doesn't matter now. All I have to do is make things right and give her the support she needs.

I unlock the house. Kick my shoes and leave them by the door. Dump my purse on the couch and head to the kitchen. An empty feeling crowds me when I enter the kitchen. The house feels like it lacks something. It doesn't have its normal lively feeling.

I grab an apple from the tray wash it as I wash my hands and then walk to the bedroom. It's creepy quiet. I don't like it. My eyes catch a glimpse of a white piece of paper on the bed. My heart pounds as it anticipates the worst. It's not a normal thing to find a sticky note on the bed. I saunter towards the bed and pick it. It's a letter.

Sweet Kes,

I am sorry for being the worst friend of all times. I never meant to keep everything from you. Forgive me. I felt as if you have helped me a lot and therefore I didn't want to burden you with more problems. Let alone complicate your life. I figured that my continued stay here will only complicate your life and friends. And by friends I mean Kim. He made his mistake. Forgive him if you can. I believe you two have been friends for long and your friendship doesn't deserve to be tainted by my complications.

It's time to face reality. I can't outrun my fated life forever. I am choosing to go back and do what I should have done ages ago. That's what's good for everyone. At least now, you don't have to sleep with your legs straight like a log to leave space for my selfish self.

I know I should not repay your kindness. But I will still find a way to repay it. Don't be mad at me for thinking of doing it. It will make me feel better. You're the kindest best friend I have ever had. I will forever be grateful.

Once I'm back in Marsabit, I will be calling from time to time. To keep you updated. That's if you forgive me. Doesn't matter how long it will take. I am sorry. I will be okay. At least I will know that I tried. But for everyone's good, I need to face everything.

With love,
Zawadi.

I clump the letter in my palm and throw it away in a rage. She can't leave. I check the closet for her clothes, they are not there. Her duffel bag is not in the closet either. Nothing that belongs to her is here. Damn it! She has left. And it's because of me. My gosh!

"No, no, no. What did I do?" I rake my hands through my hair.

No! She doesn't have to live through hell again when we can help. No...Tears stream down my face as I realise that the actual chance of finding her is so minimal if at all she has already left town. I trample to the living room grab my phone and dial Kim's number. He will not be happy. He'll be mad.

"Kim," I call in distress. Pacing back and forth my living room.

"What's up?" he asks in a panicked voice.

"She left," I say in a whisper.

"What do you mean she left?" he asks.

"She left. Packed her belongings and left. She left a damn note to tell me that she was going to sacrifice her happiness for the good of everyone. Damn it! And it's all my fault. If I didn't lash at her, she couldn't have left. We could have figured it out away, "I ramble tears streaming down my face. She is my best friend of all time and I will not accept losing her to a life that she doesn't deserve.

"Fuck!" he cusses. "We need to find her, Kes," he says. His voice is almost dictating fear. He doesn't want her to leave and I am reading so much into it. He is growing attracted to her and he doesn't want to lose her too.

"If she left when I left, she has gone far," I tell him. He cusses again. He hates it.

"Then what are we supposed to do? Sit down and wait for a miracle to hear from her again? Kes, if we don't find her, we are going to lose her to a life we could have easily avoided," he says painfully.

I was afraid she would become his sex toy. Now I am afraid she will become his poison.

"What do you suggest we do, Kim. Dusk is approaching."

"I don't know. Track her down. Go to the terminus and watch out for her, we have got to try at least," he says desperately.

"Take a breath and calm down," I urge him. "We'll drive to the terminus and try looking out for her. If we aren't successful, we'll track her down."

"That's better. I'm on my way there. Call Jason and tell him about this," he says.

He hangs up and I call Jason. I explain everything to him. He is shocked. He doesn't understand why all this drama is going on. He doesn't like it and I am feeling guilty for dragging him in all this. But good thing is that he is ready to help. I make a short prayer and hope to find her. I hope that all this will end soon and with its end, will be the beginning of a new life for Zawadi, Salima and Fatma.

I walk back to the bedroom and grab my coat. I put it on, head to the living room, put on my shoes and sit on the couch as I impatiently wait for Jason.