If I Fell│John Lennon/Beatles FanFiction

Chapter 53 - 12.Aug.1964

Chapter 53

August 12, 1964

"Where are we goin'?" I asked as I gripped my handbag on my lap, my legs crossed. I gazed out the window of the back seat of the chauffer driven car, the lights and streets of London passing by in a blur.

"How many more times are ye'gonna ask me that, Liv?" Paul asked, sitting next to me. His hair was perfectly brushed across his forehead, and his narrowed doe eyes glanced my way.

"Till you ruddy answer me." My lips pressed into a flat line after I spoke. "Or until you get tired of me askin' and I'm able to convince you to turn around and drop me off at my flat."

"I didn't force you to come with me."

I turned my head and scoffed. "Be serious, Paul. You practically abducted me."

His eyes glinted as he pulled in a drag of his ciggie. "Let's not be so dramatic."

"Honestly, you just show up out of the blue and insist that you need me to go somewhere with you." I grabbed the cig from his fingers and took a drag, claiming it as my own. "You got all Paul on me, tellin' me what to wear and how fast I needed to move. How did I let you talk me into whatever this is we're doin'?"

"Thought you'd be pleased to see me," he said, eyeing the cig that I'd stolen. He looked awfully dapper in his dark grey suit, narrow tie, and black boots.

"I was, I am. I've missed you." I hadn't seen Paul except in passing since the blow-up in Scotland, and it was like losing another best mate. He'd been a constant in my life for years, and now it was as if we'd gone through our own breakup. "But I'd like to know where we're goin', cause the more you put off tellin' me, the more nervous I get that you're takin' me somewhere I won't wanna be."

"Just trust me, all right? Have a little faith." He reached into his suit pocket and pulled out a new cig before lighting it.

"How'd you find me, anyway?" I took a drag of my cig and let it settle me.

"You hidin' from us, Liv?" Paul asked, sounding a bit hurt. And dammit, it wasn't like I could blame him. Everything I'd done to slowly remove myself from their lives had been intentional, and it bloody hurt me, too.

"Not hidin', no. What I'm tryin' to do is move on."

My renewed hope of salvaging anything with John continued to dwindle. Each day that went by without a word from him since that night in Liverpool was a day that I had to remind myself that it was time to close the door on the past. But it was practically impossible for me to move on when there were lingering slivers of hope in my heart. So I needed space from John, and a lot of it, because I couldn't seem to give up on that false hope.

Paul leaned back in his seat. "And that means moving and not tellin' anyone but Pattie where you've ended up, does it?"

I'd met up with Pattie after returning to London from Liverpool, and she was kind enough to bring a few things I'd left at George and Ringo's flat to my new place. I hadn't specifically asked her to keep my whereabouts a secret, but she did know that my plan was to cut my ties with the boys, mourn my losses, and attempt to move forward with my life.

"Pattie give you my address, then? Is that it?"

"If it helps, I had to beg."

I pushed my head against the headrest and grinned at the thought of Paul begging. "It does help. It really does."

"C'mon, Liv. This has gone on long enough, don't ye'think?"

"I'm not sure what you're referring to." I pinched my eyes closed as my heart picked up its pace. I knew what was coming. "You'll need to be more specific."