If I Fell│John Lennon/Beatles FanFiction

Chapter 37 - 2.Jan.1963

Chapter 37

January 2, 1963

I kneeled on the floor in my parents' bedroom. The room smelled a bit stale, and a layer of dust covered every surface. I usually avoided their room like the bloody plague...the memories of my father still too fresh, even though so much time had gone by. It was impossible to understand why my mind couldn't just move on like I so desperately wanted to.

I'd only kept a few containers of their belongings, hastily throwing both my mother's and father's things into boxes before shoving them aside to collect dust. I barely remembered what I'd deemed too important to throw away, too wrapped up in my confused feelings at the time, but I was very sure I wouldn't have been daft enough to throw away my mother's pearl earrings. So where in the bloody hell had I put them?

My hands tore through the boxes of pictures, diaries, and strange keepsakes that I really wasn't sure why I'd kept. I lifted the lid off an unopened box and pushed the contents around until my eyes fell on an envelope among some of my father's personal effects. My brow pinched as I grabbed the envelope and flipped it over. It was sealed, and my name was written in my father's hard-to-read handwriting.

Olivia. God, I bloody hated that name. I could almost hear his voice, taunting me, shouting at me. It was as if he was still in the house, his presence forever entrenched in the memories of my childhood home. A shiver crept down my spine, and I suddenly felt like I wasn't alone.

I shook my head to rid myself of the damned memories. I peered at the ceiling as I tried to remember packing this particular box. Surely I would've noticed a sealed envelope when I'd packed it away.

'Whaterya doin' down there, ya'loon?"

The envelope tumbled from my hand as I yelped, my head spinning toward the voice. John stood in the doorway, his hands shoved into his pockets, his overcoat still on, and his thick-framed glasses sitting a bit lop-sided on his face. His thin lips were pulled into a smirk.

"Holy fuck, John. When did you...how did you...Jeezus." I pressed my hand to my chest and could feel my heart thundering as adrenaline coursed through my body. His sudden arrival was a bit unnerving, especially considering I'd just felt like my father was back in the house. I gulped down a soothing breath. "Why are you here?"

"S'good to see you too, Livvy." His smirk grew. "You should find a better hidin' spot for this spare key of yers. Too ruddy easy to find."

"I didn't even tell you I'd hidden one." I'd recently concealed a key on my front stoop because of the many times I'd locked myself out of the house.

"Well, I was knockin' and you didn't open up. Remembered you said you might hide a spare. Didn't think you'd practically leave it sittin' out in the open." He raised the key, holding it between two fingers. "The fuck you doin' in here? You're not sleepin' in their bed, are you?"

"Blech, no, course not." I tore my gaze away from him and peeked at the envelope on the floor. I chewed at the inside of my lip before pushing the envelope under the box lid. I wasn't sure why I did it, why I didn't want John to know what I'd found...maybe because nothing involving my father could ever be good. "I'm lookin' for mum's pearls."

He took a step into the room. "Why?"

"Just saw a picture downstairs with her wearin' them, and then I couldn't bloody remember the last time I'd seen them." I pushed myself up from the floor and ran my fingers through my hair, attempting to look a bit more presentable. I really hadn't been expecting anyone. "Thought maybe I'd packed them away."