Chapter 21 - 2.June.1961

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Chapter 21

June 2, 1961

We walked in silence toward the flat. The cobblestone streets bustled despite it being so late...or maybe it was early now. What was half-past two in the morning even considered?

John didn't touch me, and I had my arms crossed over my chest as I walked heavily beside him. I wanted him to feel with every pounding footstep exactly how I felt about the decisions everyone else was making for me. My opinion didn't seem to matter anymore, and I wanted to know why.

I'd planned on getting it out of John at the club, but the moment the set was over, he put George on me, like some kind of guard. But really, what did John think I was going to do? He'd ensured that my walking partner would be staying at the club as he and Astrid made some kind of ridiculous arrangement between the two of them. And I wasn't about to walk home alone. No, I needed him to be my damned escort.

He'd emerged minutes later with his glasses on, relieving George of his guard duties and ushering me toward the door. He wore a fresh set of clothing, a pair of dark-wash jeans and a white shirt, and it looked like he'd run a comb through his hair.

We were nearing Astrid's flat when I finally had enough of the silence. I wanted to get the fight, or whatever it was we were about to do, out of the way before making it to my place. I didn't want him to come inside with me because I wasn't sure I'd be able to handle him being there with me, just the two of us. Alone.

"What's all of this about?" I asked as I pulled his arm, bringing him to a stop in the middle of the sidewalk.

"Let's just get inside," he said as he took another step forward.

I grabbed his shirt and held him back. "Is this about what happened tonight? I told you I'm fine."

"Yeah, you said that." He finally stopped trying to walk and turned to face me.

"How'd you see what happened, anyway?" I asked.

He smirked. "With me eyes, Liv."

My hands went to my hips. "Meant without yer glasses, ye twit."

"I'm not totally blind. The bar isn't that far from the stage."

"Yeah, but it's not exactly within a few metres either, which, if I remember correctly, is about how far you can see before the world becomes a blur."

"I knew where you were sitting." He took a tentative step toward me. "But it was George who told me Jürgen had dragged ye out the door by the wrist."

I bit my lip and nodded. "Knew you couldn't possibly see, ye blind mole."

Another step forward, and now I could almost feel heat radiating from his body.

"What fuckin' 'appened, Liv?"

"Jürgen shouldn'ta done what he did. I told him I didn't want to leave." I stared at the ground, counting the cobblestones instead of looking at John. "He was a proper arsehole grabbing me like that."

John's hands were on my arms. His entire demeanor had changed toward me in the matter of an afternoon. He'd been distant during the photoshoot, I was sure of it. And now? Well, now it felt like we hadn't spent the last two months practically avoiding each other.

"No, he shouldn'ta done that," he said, his voice low.

I still couldn't look at him as I continued. "But it wasn't that...'cause I coulda handled him. He just wanted to talk."

His arm snaked around my lower back, and he coaxed me to walk beside him. I didn't have it in me to fight him, my head too wrapped up in what had happened back at the club.

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