If I Fell│John Lennon/Beatles FanFiction

Chapter 69 - 19.April.1966

Chapter 69

April 19, 1966

Thick fog clouded my mind, the kind of fog that lingers in mountain valleys during chilly winter mornings. The mountains prevent the air from escaping, and when the warmer air makes contact with the cooler surface air, a thick fog forms and becomes trapped in the bowl of the valley. And I was trapped, too engulfed in the thick fog to open my eyes as I drifted in and out of sleep.

Strange memories mixed with unsettling thoughts and vivid dreams. My father was there. He sat on the couch in my childhood home, staring at me...saying my name over and over.

Olivia.

And I stood unmoving in front of him, my skin crawling at the sound of the name I hated, the same name that was on the notes. And then he was gone, and I was bleeding on the floor of the bathroom. There was so much blood, and the baby wasn't moving. My mother was there, but not to help me. She was beaten and bleeding. Her blue eyes were slow to respond, but she looked up, her eyes meeting mine. She blinked and a tear trickled down her cheek. She was dying, and I was dying, too. I was going to leave my baby without a mother just like my mother had left me.

But eventually, the fog began to lift, and the dreams faded. Noises filtered in through my subconscious, and I was suddenly very aware that I'd woken up like this once before. Except this time, sharp pain radiated in my lower abdomen instead of my head.

A gentle thumb moved over my skin, soothing me and pulling me out of the lingering haze.

"There you are," John whispered. "Christ, you couldn't have done this the normal way, could you? Had to bloody fuckin' scare me."

I pried my eyes open. The hospital room was dimly lit, and John sat in a chair next to my bed in the same clothes he'd been wearing when I shoved him out the front door with George, what felt like days before but was probably only hours. There were circles under his eyes, and his hair was a proper mess, greasy and out of place. The blinds to the outside world were drawn closed, making it impossible for me to know the time.

And then I remembered the blood, the panic, the unbearable pain. I struggled to sit up, and soreness radiated. My eyes peered at my aching lower half...my belly wasn't flat, but I certainly wasn't pregnant anymore. The massive bump was gone.

My eyes flew to John's. "The baby? Is the baby all right?"

"She's fine, you're fine." There was a crease of worry in his brow as he slipped his hand into mine, gripping me, our fingers intertwining. It was as if he needed to feel me, feel that I was awake, alive, and moving. His shoulders were tight, and he shifted in his seat. "You lost some blood, but you're fine. At least that's what the doctor finally told me after I had to threaten a nurse to bloody fuckin' tell me somethin'."

Tears welled in my eyes. "She? It's a girl?"

John looked at me, his light brown eyes meeting mine...and there were tears in them, which only made it harder for me to control my emotions.

"It's a bloody girl, Liv."

I sucked in a breath, trying to control the onslaught of emotions. "Told you it was a girl, didn't I? You never listen to me."

"You've gotta see her. She's fuckin' perfect."

I'd rarely heard John so elated about anything in his entire life...maybe only twice before. Once when he first made me listen to Elvis and again when he rang to tell me the Beatles had reached Number 1 in America. But this was different...his tone and the look in his eyes were different. It was a side of John I'd never seen before.