If I Fell│John Lennon/Beatles FanFiction

Chapter 90 - 9.Aug.1967

Chapter 90

August 9, 1967

The day the money was due came and went. 

And with each day that passed, we'd waited. We waited for another note to appear...or for retaliation...or for the story to hit the papers.

While we waited, I worried about what might happen because of our decision to not pay the blackmailer. I worried so much I could barely sit still. Awful thoughts about what could happen to my family ate at me, making it nearly impossible to sleep. I used all of the old methods of helping my brain calm down before bedtime, but it was usually only after tiring myself out with a book or an energetic shag that I was finally able to settle enough to fall asleep.

But eight days had passed since the deadline for the money and the tension in our house was beginning to let up. We were finally lowering our guard, and for the first time since opening that damned note at Catherine's flat, I was able to relax.

Nell, one of the two kittens John had brought home for Maggie last Christmas, nestled beside me the moment I collapsed on the couch, the telly on in the background. He wasn't small anymore, and he was probably fed too damned well, but he was a cuddly cat and loved it when I stroked his soft fur.

John popped his head into the den. "George rang. He and Pattie just got home."

The pair had been in America for a little over a week, where they dined with Ravi Shankar, paid a visit to Haight-Ashbury in San Francisco, and spent time with Pattie's sister, Jenny.

"You should pop over and say hello," I said as I scratched Nell's head, and he immediately began to purr.

John shook his head and walked into the room, plopping onto the plush green chair, sliding his feet under him, and crossing his legs. His trousers were purple with a velvety texture, and his shirt was black-and-white striped. His hair looked more auburn than I'd ever seen it before, probably from spending so much time in the sun while we were in Greece.

"You should come with." He placed a cig between his lips and offered me one, but I clutched my stomach and shook my head. The idea of smoking caused the unpleasant yet still unrealized nausea to stir.

"What," I said, holding back a smirk, "do ye'need a babysitter?"

He clutched his cig, staring at me. "How'd you know?"

I tapped my temple. "I'm a bloody mind reader."

"You're bloody obnoxious is what you are."

"Mmm, well, you've certainly put up with me for an awfully long time, then."

"You're very lucky I do."

"Maggie's outside with Dot," I said, pursing my lips and deciding to be more serious, "but I've got to feed her soon and then get her ready for bed." Maggie had become something of a good sleeper in recent months. But it was nearing her witching hour, and if I kept her up past her bedtime, she often became an overtired screaming mess. I rubbed my hand over my belly. "'Sides, I'm knackered. This baby is draining me of all energy."

John blew a puff of smoke toward the ceiling before eyeing my hand over my stomach. We still hadn't done much talking, choosing instead to fall back into our old, comfortable habits. But it wasn't just avoidance causing us not to talk. We'd been busy...first on holiday in Greece, and then our return had been met with the immediate need to make decisions about the blackmail. Even so, no matter how easy it was to slip into our old ways, we couldn't put off talking forever.

All of the boys had a grand time in Greece as we explored Athens and sailed up and down the coast in search of an island. And all the while, I'd tried my damndest to keep food in my stomach by attempting to ignore the rocking motion of the boat. It was almost worse this way, being nauseous all the time but not able to actually vom. But it hardly mattered to me that I'd felt like utter shite on the boat because John looked so content, and he seemed to be in control again, like he had been before Maggie was born.