If I Fell│John Lennon/Beatles FanFiction

Chapter 20 - 1.June.1961

Chapter 20

June 1, 1961

As promised, Astrid and I arrived minutes before the beginning of their set. I hadn't had the energy to change after the photoshoot, so I was a bit underdressed for the club. We bought drinks and headed toward the stage. It had been a bit of a struggle to get Astrid to come with me. Feelings within the band were a bit tumultuous, most of the strain coming from Stu. He'd announced some time ago that he had plans to stay in Hamburg and would be leaving the band. He still played with them, but he was mostly checked out.

The boys weren't interested in recruiting a fifth person for the band, so the question became who would be the bass player. There was a bit of debate, but soon it became clear that Paul was the only candidate. He was without a guitar and playing the piano. And he was the only one who didn't seem to mind the idea, so he went out and bought a Hofner violin bass.

To make things more awkward, I'd also heard bits of information about an on-stage fight between Stu and Paul. I wasn't there that night, but from what I gathered, Paul said something to Stu, something about Astrid. It must've really struck a nerve, because Stu dropped his bass guitar, thundered across the stage toward the piano, and landed a massive blow on Paul.

According to George, Paul and Stu struggled on the floor of the stage, rolling around like maniacs. This went on until the song was finally over. John and Pete then both ran over, pulling the two apart as they punched and clawed at each other.

As we found our spot, Astrid exhaled and smiled when she saw Stu take his place on stage. He'd changed his look. One day he showed up looking a bit more like Klaus Voormann, with his shaggy brown hair covering his forehead. Astrid had convinced Stu to let her cut his hair that way. John and the others spent days making fun of the poor lad.

The rest of the lads strolled onto the stage, and the weekday audience flocked to them like insects to bright light. I offered George a tiny wave, and he beamed back at me before Paul counted them into their first song. They hadn't changed from the photoshoot, only removing their newsboy caps.

"Oh, Liv," Astrid said, pulling at my arm and talking into my ear. "Jürgen rang for you."

Jürgen. My heart constricted as I turned to her with wide eyes. I'd cut things off with him when I realized it wasn't right to use him as a distraction. My feelings for John weren't going anywhere, and despite all of my best efforts, I couldn't find myself feeling anything for Jürgen. It felt like a chore to kiss him. It felt nothing like kissing John. And comparing the two wasn't fair. So, I'd ended things as politely as possible, but he hadn't given up so easily.

"Well, what did he want?" I asked.

"To speak with you, of course." Her eyes narrowed. "He said you've been avoiding him."

"I 'ave been." I crossed my arms over my chest. "I'm not sure what there is for us to keep talking about."

"Have you heard the poor boy out?"

Not really, but that didn't matter. "Do I need to?"

Frowning, she pulled me away from the music, toward the back of the club. I shuffled behind her.

"If he has something to say, why not hear it?" she asked.

"Because I've already spoken with him about all of this...three separate times."

She was protective of her friend, and I appreciated that, but why did we have to go through the exact same conversation when the end result would always be the same?