If I Fell│John Lennon/Beatles FanFiction

Chapter 40 - 13.Oct.1963

Chapter 40 

October 13, 1963

"Can I have a ciggie, John?" I asked after a long while, allowing time for my pent-up frustration to settle.

"We're back to this now, huh? Bumming cigs off me?" He tightened his hold on me, his muscles relaxing a bit after the long silence. "Haven't seen you smoke in a while. Ye'sure you remember how?"

"Been a night, and don't be an arse. I know how to smoke a damned cig." I sighed and pushed my hand into my hair. "Good show, though."

"Piss off with that, Liv. We could hardly hear ourselves."

"Thought that might be the case when you told the audience to shuddup." My lips pulled into a half-smile. "Think it wise to shout at them like tha?"

"When they're screamin' over me, yeah." He uncrossed and then recrossed his ankles. "Music might as well have been us farting."

I nudged my shoulder into his. "Knew there was a foul smell comin' from you lot."

He shook his head as his gaze fell to my knees where my stockings were ruined, runs going up and down from small holes. Damned things were beyond salvageable. I'd barely noticed the pain in my knees when I fell, but they were a bit scraped and bruised.

"You all right, Livvy?" He stamped his cigarette out before reaching for his pack. He pulled two out and placed one between my lips. My eyes flicked up to meet his as he lit the cigs. Smoke filled my lungs as I pulled in a drag. I sputtered a bit as I exhaled, and John's lips finally pulled into a bit of a smile.

"I'm fine, but my camera didn't make it," I said, dropping my head back onto his shoulder. I pinched my eyes closed, trying not to think about the shattered lens as I pulled in another drag. God, it had been so long since I smoked, and just like I remembered, it settled my nerves, even if I coughed like a bloody teen smoking for the first time.

"The fuck does that mean?"

"Means I got knocked over by some birds, and me camera took most of the impact. Don't think there's anythin' I can do to fix it."

"Shite, Liv." He pulled me closer. He knew how important that camera was, how much it meant to me. It was a gift from my mum, the last birthday present she was ever able to give me. By my next birthday, she was dead. "Shite, I'm sorry."

"S'all right." I sucked down a breath, desperate not to cry...there were other ways to remember my mother. A broken camera wasn't going to make me fall to pieces. "Not yer fault, is it?"

"I'll get you a new one, all right?"

"Don't be daft, I can get it."

"I'm not in the mood to get into a bloody row 'bout this." John gripped his cig between his fingers, his temper flaring again as he gazed at me with a crease in his brow. "I said I'll take care of it."

"You can't do that, John. Just 'cause you make a decision doesn't mean that's what's gonna happen...I know that's hard for yer thick head to understand," I said, lifting my head off his shoulder. "And speaking of, you didn't need to get into a row with Brian 'cause of me."

"Don't tell me how to fuckin' handle this."

My gaze flicked up as I pulled in another drag of the cig. "Oh, have I forgotten to mention just how much I love it when you talk to me like tha?"

"You have this problem that you think you can handle everything on yer own, but you can't."

"And you have this problem that you think you need to take care of me, but I can handle myself." I scooted away from him and crossed my legs, keeping the blanket securely around my shoulders. I needed to think straight, and that was damned near impossible when I was so close to John. "Besides, don't I get a say in all of this 'safe under yer arm' business since what you're suggestin' will likely out us as a couple?"