Caught In Your Chaos ✓

Chapter Sixty-Two

As I folded the last of my shirts (which I had not touched since the moment I grew comfortable in Jake's) into my bag, I realized how fast time wheeled with him. It tugged my heart to detach them from the dresser. They had made it their home in just a few days. I might be cruel, but it had to be done. I couldn't live in his world forever. It was about time to join back the reality. And reality didn't seem to be any different.

It was like he traveled every corner, and he lived everywhere. He was in my dreams and also my nightmares. He was my hope but could also be my disappointment. He made a fantasy world for me, but he occupied my reality too.

So much.

How could someone be so much that you want all of them still couldn't contain enough?

We didn't talk after Liz left. Maybe, it was as hard for him as it was for me. To leave each other's side and fall back to our mundane life. But how we were those past days was also worth something, wasn't it?

He seemed troubled about the painting.

I could feel it.

I knew it.

I had started infiltrating his thoughts through his actions. If he had grown on me, I had set my roots in him too.

The painting had to mean so much to him. I was curious about it, but I couldn't make myself ask him. Afraid of its place in his life. It might have more space in his heart than I had managed to traverse by then. For my peace of mind, I needed to delay it as much as possible.

I finally finished packing up with a heavy heart and turned towards the bedroom door, only to find his tall looming figure leaning against it. When did he become that tall? 'He was always that tall,' my subconscious reminds me. Of course, he was. It was just that I never felt this small in front of him. The reason could be my ever-shrinking heart. It didn't want to separate from his. At that moment, as I avoided locking eyes with him, all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and find a warm corner in his heart.

"Do you have to go back?" Jake asked in a murmur. He had just taken a shower. The smell of his shower gel which had to be citrus and honey - lingered around me. His hair was still wet. A water droplet fell on my neck, making me aware of the impending question.

'No, Jacob, I don't want to go, but I certainly have to go,' my mind screamed at me, but I gulped down a vile sip of anxiety.

"I wish you had asked it differently but damn if you aren't always so accurate," I laughed a little, gathering enough control to look at his black orbs. He had already changed into a pair of black denim, same as me, and a dark blue t-shirt. How could he pull up all the colors? I looked comparatively comical in the vibrant red shirt, way too loose on me.

"What did you want me to ask?" He touched my nose with his pointer finger before bending down and taking the bag from my hand. "I already know. You don't want to leave. I can read it in your eyes. So, that leaves me with only one possibility, which seems rather bleak given my reputation with your mother."

He could read my emotions through my eyes.

Did that make him a marauder of my thoughts?

Did he succeed in crossing over the walls I put around my heart?

Did I infiltrate him to the lengths he had raided me?

The questions kept ringing in my head. Both of us were silent. We locked all the windows and doors together before heading out of the apartment. As he turned the lock, I stacked all the moments we shared in that apartment in my memory box and kept the lid open. He turned back and led us to the elevator, breaking one thought that kept repeating in my head - I'm going to come back here in my dreams tonight.