Caught In Your Chaos ✓

Chapter Eighty-Four

Thick clouds loomed over my head as I stepped out of the cab and made my way towards Jake's house. He had texted me earlier that he wanted to spend some time alone, but after coming face to face with all that he had been hiding, I couldn't stop myself from seeking him out. The cool breeze brushed my exposed skin admitting the upcoming storm. As per the weather report that flashed in my cellphone's screensaver, it was going to downpour.

I slung my backpack over my shoulder after sending out a quick update to my mom. This time I didn't waste a second to admire the details of my surrounding as I walked through the driveway of his house. I pressed the buzzer on his entrance, and as soon as the doors opened, I rushed through the foyer towards the staircase, taking two stairs at a time. My heart thudded loudly against my chest as I passed the series of doors in the corridor before reaching the loft area.

There was no more hiding, no more secrets to bare or no more self-indulgence from him. I finally knew about the darkness that he had been hiding. I should have known why he was so close to Brinda.

And now I knew why he shouldn't be punishing himself for everything.

His room was dark with curtains drawn, and my eyes scanned the room for his familiar presence as I finally stopped at the glass slider leading to the sunroom. I leaned against the door frame to watch the passionate look on his face. His black curls pulled back in a man bun of the sexiest existence. My heart warmed up to see him behind the easel, his eyes bright with concentration as he moved the paintbrush on the canvas. I realized it was my first time watching him paint, his exposed torso covered in patches of colors.

A smile appeared on my face when he dipped his paintbrush in the palette, wiping away the sweat on his forehead with his other hand, then right back into the canvas. From the breathtaking ink on his skin to the scars that covered his body, everything looked perfect.

I felt a sharp sting in my heart with the memory of all those horrible things this man went through. Yet, he survived. He had a beautiful heart hidden from others. I brushed away the tears that trickled down my cheeks and swallowed the lump that formed in my throat.

There was no other place I would rather be than his heart. I loved him with all my passion.

"Are you going to stand there and stare at me, creeper," his deep voice acted as a magnet. I slid down my backpack on the floor beside me and rushed towards him. He was surprised at first but steadied me as I crawled on his lap and buried my tear-stained face in the crook of his neck. His scent settled some of the aches in my heart. "Yes, this works too. But should I be scared?"

"Yes," I breathed, still trying to stop the tears that were now wetting his shoulder. "I love you so much that it hurts."

His hands tightened around my back, and he placed a deep kiss on my head. "I'm fucking in love with you too, Amy. And I would die before I hurt you."

I finally peeled my head off his neck and looked into his charcoal eyes, which looked soft and gentle for the first time. I cupped his face with my hand and brought my lips to the scar on his forehead.

He stilled underneath my touch for a second, closing his eyes, moving one of his hands from my waist to my face, then brushed my cheek lightly. "I told you, Amy, your tears kill me."

"It wasn't your fault, Jacob. All this time, you've been punishing the wrong person. It wasn't you." I looked him in the eyes, my eyelashes damp with fresh tears. "It's not fair."

He shook his head, letting out an exasperated breath. "How did you know?"

"Seb, he told me everything," I said, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. "Anna was behind the wheels that day. It wasn't you, but you keep punishing yourself. It's not fair, Jacob. It's not fucking fair."