The Moon Hiding at Dawn

Chapter 14: Weekend

There are moments where you can't help but feel empty and hopeless in retrospect for ignoring signs and signals that indicate danger. The lifeless phantom of guilt and self-pity looming over your back, telling you that you could have stopped a horrible event from completely happening. Then there's that alternate feeling of utter relief knowing that everything was simply paranoia at play and that sense of imminent danger was nothing but the mind playing awful tricks. The only common denominator for the two is as simple as saying that you'll never really know which path you stand on until you reach the end of the road.

And, in hindsight, I've been pretty much a victim of both. The problem with the latter thing about relief, though, is that you'll never really know until the very end. The possibility of falsehood is still attached that a sigh of relief may as well be followed by heavy breathing soon enough. Nothing is set in this world as much as I want to trust everyone and their promises.

Like family members for instance. 

The reason why I don't live with anyone is because my parents are separated. Not that it matters anymore now that I'm of age and still receiving money from both of them. I once thought that them fighting was just something playful like how lion cubs play roughly. They fought about extremely little things and I found it absurd to believe that it was a big deal since they are grown and matured adults. That said, I left them be and just minded my own business. Hindsight tells me that it was my biggest mistake in the family life. By the time I reached legal age, they finally got fed up of each other and went separate ways, leaving me with a property near the university and sending me money for my needs. I never talk to them anymore. If only I paid more attention and tried to talk to them properly, I might have a better family life compared to being a shut-in. After all, I'm an only child. I know that it's not my job to fix their relationship but if I just contributed some effort to it, things might've gone better.

But then, I'd probably still be a shut-in if I succeeded but at the very least, I'd think that I have people by my side compared to the emptiness I felt long ago.

I woke up in a warm Saturday morning, bummed out with such thoughts surfacing. Dreaming about it doesn't really help when you never got to be at peace with the event. I'd probably be better of forgetting that now. Especially this time around.

It's finally the weekend and Kallen, together with her anaconda stomach, is finally better.

We finally had time for a date. A genuine one separate from the previous ones we had where we just juggled it while handling responsibilities thrown at our direction. I wore a simple white shirt under the gray jacket I got from her. At this point, I feel like it's my jacket now for all I know. Every time I tried to return it she'd just find a reason for me to use it. Not that I hate it though. It's a nice remembrance of her warmth so to say. The feeling that she's there and real even if she's not physically beside me at the moment.

We're supposed to meet at the mall today at 9:00 in the morning but never planned anything beyond that. I arrived early as usual, around 8:45. Being an early bird is something ingrained in my system now and part of it is to avoid unwanted dreams like the ones from early on. Sleeping comfortably has its downsides so I sometimes sleep anywhere but the bed so I won't have anything to dream about.

It's now 9:30 in the morning and she hasn't arrived yet. Figured I'd get used to it. It happens every time in class so nothing new about that. It's one of her signature traits and what makes her completely human rather than a supreme being's favorite creature.

She arrived at 10:00 as I waited by a bench at some sort of mini-park just before the mall's entrance. She looked around until she saw me waving at her and rushed to where I was sitting. She wore black slacks, a striped long-sleeved shirt, topped with a gray crop-top. Naturally, and figuratively, my jaw dropped in her stunning appearance. It's not every day that I see her not in uniform.