The Moon Hiding at Dawn

Chapter 40: The Moon Hiding at Dawn

Years have marched by our ever-busy lives. I remember graduation like it was yesterday but my heart knows that I simply longed for carefree days—for an extension of the days gone by. That these days may be stuck on repeat, like records stuck in replay in the vinyl record of time. If I could go back to the days, I'd screenshot that part of my life and stare at it forever. Maybe even change it so that the future may not be as dim. But I know I'm better than that. My actions don't only affect me but those that cluster around me as well.

Many things have changed for all of us ever since we graduated from university seven years ago. Seven years is a curse for prodigies. We go on our usual ways as the brilliant amongst people but that means we hit the breaking point faster where things start to be ordinarily bland and lifeless.

Nina now operates their bar. Except that it was the most prominent one in town, fully automated by robots. They aren't programmed artificial intelligence. What operates them... or who operates them, rather, are those with physical disabilities and are stuck at home. It's very much like Nina: thinking of others as she forged the best solution under her management.

Chris is now working abroad as an ambassador. We rarely see each other but I'm already sick of seeing his face in front of the television. Still can't help but think that he still has his habit of being a people pleaser but I guess that works in his line of duty.

Clyde, on the other hand, is now a top general who has revolutionized the use of unmanned humanoid robots. He devised the system from scratch as soon as he entered military forces. It didn't take long for his work to be adopted in the fight against terrorism and it was his ticket to be promoted as one of the higher ups. Usually these kinds of things end up in either robot uprisings or being used as weapons against other countries but both not happening yet means that he's not slacking off in either developing a counter-mechanism to that or maybe in implementing and monitoring an existing one.

Cynthia is also on a similar field. She is known as the lead scientist researching nano-technology and its usage in the medical field. As far as news reports go, she is currently perfecting nanobot systems of artificial antibodies for those with weak immune systems.

Randy is actually a celebrity when it comes to survival shows as he often meditated and traveled through dense forests, deserts, mountains, and other unthinkable places. He currently is serving as the tourism ambassador for the country because of it though I feel that the position is something honorary only.

His good old pal, Ramus, is now a full-fledged game developer and has the monopoly in sophisticated gaming technology. Every two years or so, he comes up with an entirely new console with its unique sets of games. He even got the title "God of Games" from players all around the world. Everyone is waiting for what's new in the upcoming year as would be tradition but I hope it's not eating him away because of the expectations.

The ever-mysterious Rin found her aura useful in journalism. She is the leading investigative journalist who was known for exposing and taking down a dictatorship in just a week. All while devouring multiple death threats for breakfast and dodging assassinations as a workout routine.

Riz is still the CEO of the mall. Only difference is that she also sits at the pinnacle of business as she eventually paved her way to be the head of the board of directors of the association of all businesses in the country. The economy is flowing stably because of her policies and intervention. She comes by and visits every week or so to see if I'm still alive.

I, on the other hand, am stuck in this coffee shop. Only that I've unintentionally turned it to an international sensation as I also sold the books I've written here exclusively. It was tough back then but when word got out, customers flowed in rapidly. I also received multiple partnerships and all especially those from the class as well. Nina was even kind enough to give me robots that she used except that I had to borrow a program from the others so that no one had to control them. I kinda like to be the sole human running the shop around.

The only person who haven't changed at the very least is Kallen. For the same reason that we haven't heard from her ever since her message last graduation. She and Riz were never replaced in my heart. I still am hoping to see her now that she knows that I'm just here.

It's been seven years since then but everything still seems like a day ago, as if the past never meant to let us go. Everyone checks upon each other from time to time because we ourselves know it for sure. That despite the bright light we created for ourselves, something made from our hands will eventually consume its finiteness. That one day, everything will be sucked into the primordial way and the difficult past will once again cycle back as the future. Although among all of us, I might be the only one longing for that sole chance.

Part of the reason why I decided to write instead of continuing as a businessman or a programmer was to settle down and send a message that would shoot up to the sky as a beacon telling her that I'm waiting for her. That the future is merely a blank illusion slowly unfolding towards her return.

As a matter of fact, my first book released was our love story turned tragedy. It turned to be a huge hit and I'm lauded as one of the emerging writers out there.

I talk about all these things, seeming to be happy with the turnout of our future. But I am not satisfied. I never made up with the past. Rather, I still cling to it as I continue in the foggy future. My life died a long time ago. It was only Riz who gave me an artificial one knowing that I'll eventually wound up to chasing the sun once again until I either embrace it or these waxed wings of mine fall apart and plummet me to my death.

All the subjects of my books were past stories. Past events. I'm a mere necromancer who goes through the present and future just by bringing up the long-dead past. In a way, you could say that all my achievements are remnants of Kallen. Things she did before, things she told me, things that reminded me of her. Yet I have to make sure that I don't hold on it so much that it pulls me back. To drown in the pains of the past would mean fusing it with the future and long have I decided: should I face the same pain as the past, I'm just going to end it all in one fell swoop. What I wanted from long ago is only the pleasure and only one thing may grant it. As far as these memories are concerned, ultimately one person alone may do so.

People sing me too much praises simply because they relate to me. They all bow down as if I'm a prophet who was sent to represent them and understand them. I'm no prophet, much more a messiah. I'm just a lonely guy who misses his past girl a lot to the point that it's the only thing keeping me alive as of today.

That slight hope that we would see each other again.

That is the only thing that keeps this lonely heart beating.

I've told this to Riz already. No matter how hard I try, I just really can't replace Kallen. Many have tried to take her place. The best that they were able to do was squeeze in a small place in my heart. But a complete takeover? Nothing of that sort happened.

Riz completely understood what I meant. She confessed that she felt the same way about me. That no matter how many men lined up before her, no one would be able to take my place. But unfortunately, I'm a cup that was never hers to drink from. Yet she did try but up to no avail.

The feelings we genuinely had before took the harsh beating of time and reality that nothing can retrieve it lest everything be forgotten.

Tragic. I know. We are stuck longing for something we lost but never can retrieve.

In another life, I may be reunited with Kallen.

Perhaps in another life, I spent my forever with Riz.

Maybe in another life, none of these ever happened.

All I know is that in this life, I'm stuck with chasing the past while trying not to fall too deep.

Chasing the warmth of the sun, yet staying far enough not to get burned.

That's right.

Right now, I'm just the moon that's always hiding at dawn.