The Moon Hiding at Dawn

Chapter 39: Beyond the Horizon

Seventh of January. Back to whatever normal things would be. Kallen and Clyde still nowhere to be found. Kallen's absence was of no surprise to me anymore. Clyde's position is understandable although I don't know what he plans to do with his attendance record. I doubt that he completed the required number of days yet. His call, I wouldn't pry on any of his business any longer.

Nina was a bit hectic as she was running around our graduation requirements. Just troublesome paperwork and clearances so she took it up on herself. We sometimes offer to help but we got shot down every single time. I guess it's what feeds her sense of identity as the one everyone relies on. She usually does this with Kallen before. I guess she was the only one who can get through Nina's polite rejections. 

The others, meanwhile, were not doing anything of significant. Just little things like casual conversations or even nostalgically walking around the school grounds. Nonetheless, we all did that on a regular basis that we barely even noticed the time as January passes by.

The next thing we knew, it was already February—the season of love. Which would explain how Riz is extremely aggressive on her moves toward me. Something I find a bit refreshing albeit unusual.

We spent most days just flirting around the rooftop. We get occasional visitors who hang out with us. There was also this one time that everyone ended up in the rooftop that we just played random games like cards, spin the bottles, and other usual games you can play with just a few things by your side. I'm surprised school staff haven't even discovered us. Maybe they did and are just extremely underpaid to even bother. Yeah. Probably that one.

We had a chance to be alone today, basking at the mellow rays of the setting sun. Backs against the cold wall, her head on my shoulder, hands joined as one. This was one of those rare moments of peace that we've always wanted. Though it would honestly be better if these moments took place without the cost of a plentiful lost memories.

"We've all come so far, didn't we?" Riz sighed.

"Yeah... it's been rough and all but we're still going."

"I just can't believe this moment no matter how many times it already happened." She muttered. "Had you always planned to make it this way?"

"To be honest, no. I originally planned to make you feel happy and slowly detach with everyone when the time comes." I explained. "You were so insistent on choosing me though that I ended up giving in. It was all honestly thanks to you. You were always the one to spark change and move forward."

She pouted, seemingly unsatisfied with my answer. "Yet Kallen still holds your heart, doesn't she?"

"I don't really know what I feel anymore..."

"Care to explain?" Riz said as she stared at me intently with those hazel eyes of hers. I completely thought she'd lash out at my dense of an answer now that I thought about it.

I let out a sigh. "I once told her what I thought about love: a dance between a person's impulse and their choice. You may fall in love with many others but what's important is the choice."

I scratched my head, trying to think of a way to make it not as confusing. "I still hold that to be true but reality is rarely like that. Love is not something that has a linear definition. There is love that is meant to be forever. There is love that is meant to stay as friendship. There might even be love that is meant to stay between enemies. It's so confusing that I can't find myself to classify what I'm currently feeling. I chose Kallen. Yet I chose you co-equally as well. You are the subject of my current love, don't get me wrong on that. But I still have existing love for Kallen, probably reserved in an unknown form far away."