Until I Met You

2

TW's:
-Usage too much medication
-Mentions heart disease
-Emotional abuse
-Burnout

Clay's POV

After what happened at school I felt really bad. I was closeted and I liked boys too. I never really had the time to think about my sexuality, but I knew I liked boys a lot. Mostly because I liked one a lot, I liked George.

On one side I was happy to hear he was gay, but on the other side. I would have literally ran away crying if I accidentally outed myself, I felt so extremely bad for him. I could understand his pain, the fear of outing myself was so big now.

I was extremely slowly walking home, even though I had my bike with me. I wanted to be home as late as possible to escape the situation a little. Life wasn't easy for me, at school I always seemed to have a perfect life. I seemed to be happy and really calm. But meanwhile at home-.

My sister was sick, she was really sick. Since my dad left me when I was ten, I only had a mother left. And well, let her just have a burnout. I had to do everything at home, I cleaned the whole house, I did the dishes, I even gave the plants water. I did everything.

But most importantly, I had to take care of my sister the whole day long too. She had a heart disease which caused her to have to lay down all day. She was in a lot of pain, she was short of breath all day. I had to do everything for her, I made her food, I had to help her go to the toilet.

I was sometimes really mad at my mum which caused me to get irritated a lot. A while back I suddenly found some calming medication in the bathroom and I felt the need to take it. I was so stressed all day and I needed those pills.

Well, of course by taking one of those pills it got worse and I took more and more and now I took at least three a day. It made me really calm, but probably more stoned. I was slow all day and even though I did football, I didn't realise half of the things happening to me.

I did really bad at school, but I was smart and I sometimes got good grades. I just needed my calming medication because otherwise I would completely freak out.

I entered my place thirty minutes later and I immediately walked upstairs to my sister. I slowly opened the door and I walked in. She had her eyes closed and I held my hand against her neck to feel a pulse. Her heart was beating slowly which made me realise she was just asleep. I stood up again, walking to my mother's room. My mum was also laying in bed and I smiled at her.

'Sweetie, can you give me some water?'

Something in me wanted to scream at her. Scream how I just came home and she didn't even ask about my day, scream about how tired I was and that she could easily stand up for one second in her freaking day to get herself some water, but no. I stayed quiet and nodded slowly.

'Of course, mum.'

I turned around and I walked to the bathroom, filling up the first glass I saw with water. I went back to my mum's room and I gave her the glass of water.

'Go do your homework.'

I was fighting against my tears, but I had to stay strong. I couldn't show a sign of breaking now. I nodded slowly and turned around to close the door behind me as my mum called me back.

'Can you maybe make me some tea?'

'You have water right?'

'I would like some tea, but it's fine if you don't want to make it. I will drink water.'

I clenched my fists, ready to hit the wall out of pure anger, but I smiled. 'Of course, mum. I will make you some tea.'

My mum smiled. 'Can you also get a biscuit with it?'

'Y-yes, sure mum,' I whispered.

Instead of walking downstairs I walked to the bathroom and grabbed another pill. I was way too stressed and I needed more to stay calm. I swallowed the pill first and then after that I walked downstairs to make my mum some tea. I grabbed a biscuit and I grabbed another one for myself, walking back upstairs as the tea was done.

I walked to my mother's room and gave her the tea and one of the biscuits.

'Can I have the other one too?' she asked me.

I looked at the biscuit in my hands which I wished to eat, but I nodded. 'Here you go.'

I wasn't going to say it was the last biscuit left and I walked to my room as my sister called. I bit my lip to fight against my tears and I slowly walked to my sister's room.

'Hi, Drista. What's wrong?'

'I'm- short of breath.'

I laid down next to her in bed and grabbed her hand, pulling her close. 'Calm down, okay? You will be okay, just as all last times. You are going to be fine, just close your eyes and sleep again.'

Drista closed her eyes again and after a long while she fell asleep. My medication was kicking in now and I stood up like some sort of zombie, walking to my room. I was so tired, I just wanted to stay in my room forever, just as my mum and sister did. But no, I couldn't. Because I had become some sort of slave here in the house. I had to do everything they said and I had no life at all.

I wished I had someone to talk to, I wished I could tell someone about the fact I liked boys a lot. Just someone who would support me, but I couldn't. I was too scared to tell Sap, because what if someone heard it.

I was supposed to do homework, but I was so tired that I ended up falling asleep.

1030 words