Until I Met You

13

TW's:
-Usage too much medication
-Throwing up

Clay's POV

After I threw up I quickly went to class. My stomach had been hurting a lot recently and I knew I was taking too much medication, I just really needed it. I had taken five pills with me to school today so if I became too stressed, I would take them.

My stomach was feeling slightly better as I entered my classroom and I sat down. I started thinking about George again, how he touched my knee and how he held his hand on my back as I threw up. He was so cute and handsome, I was so in love.

I didn't realise I was in school at all and I started drawing George's name everywhere again with hearts around it. I noticed myself blushing by the thought of him only and I smiled as I thought about him speaking to me again. I suddenly realised Sapnap was sitting next to me and I quickly closed my notebook, leaning back in my chair to act like I absolutely wasn't writing a boy's name down with hearts around it.

Sap smiled at me and nodded slowly. 'Can I speak to you for a little after class?'

'Uh-.' My face heated up completely and I nodded. 'Sure.'

The whole class I was extremely nervous. I didn't draw anything anymore and I definitely didn't open my notebook after I realised I had been drawing George's name next to Sapnap.

After a while the class was over and I acted like I forgot that Sapnap wanted to speak to me. Sap clearly didn't forget and he grabbed my shoulder to pull me with him to a quiet place.

'I've been thinking about this for a while now and I just think you're a bit scared to tell me. I just want to make you comfortable, you don't have to be scared at all, okay?'

'S-s-scared for uh- w-what?'

'Coming out.'

'Uh- I uh- have n-no idea w-what you're uh- talking a-about.'

'I have seen you draw.'

'M-my uh- s-sister uh- a-asked me to.'

'To make a drawing with the name of a boy who you have been talking a lot to recently.'

'Uh- h-her best f-friend is uh- called George.'

'So you have to make a drawing with hearts around George's name for your sister.'

'I d-don't like b-boys.'

'I'm not forcing you to come out or anything, but I know you do. And that's totally fine, I would always accept you whatever way you are. Just because my teammates are homophobic, doesn't mean at all that I'm homophobic too.'

'That's nice of y-you, but uh- I'm not g-gay.'

Sapnap just smiled at me and pulled me in for a hug. 'It's fine, Clay. George is handsome, I can understand why you like him.'

I pushed him away and I looked at my hands. 'I'm not gay,' I whispered and I started running off. I ran to the bathroom and locked myself in the stall, grabbing the five pills I had taken with me. I swallowed them all with some water and unlocked the bathroom stall again.

I started slowly walking to my class, but twenty minutes later I started feeling really nauseous again, feeling my stomach hurt more and more. I had taken nine pills today when I was only allowed two a day. I just really needed them to stay calm, if I didn't have my pills I would completely trip.

I slowly lifted my hands as I got even more nauseous and my stomach started hurting even more. The teacher looked at me, just as George and Sapnap did.

'I really have to use the bathroom,' I whispered.

'Clay, you know we don't use the toilet during class.'

'Sir, please. I really need to use the toilet.'

'You can just hold it for a little.'

'Sir, you can see that he really needs to use the bathroom, please let him,' George suddenly said.

'No, I won't.'

'I'm going to throw up,' I whispered. 'Please.'

'I can't hear you, and the answer will stay no.'

I started breathing faster and I leaned back in my chair. I felt all colour disappearing out of my face, while I started sweating like crazy.

'Please,' I whispered.

'No, Clay.'

I knew I was going to throw up within a few seconds and I stood up, running away to go outside. I could close the door just in time before throwing up on the ground. Maybe those nine pills were a little too much and definitely after I had been using at least five each day for weeks to months now. I just really needed them.

The door opened and my teacher looked at me. 'Sorry, sir,' I whispered. 'I wanted to go to the bathroom.'

'Why didn't you just tell me you had to throw up?'

'I did, but I didn't want the whole class to hear that I had to throw up.'

'Fine, go home. I will let someone clean it.'

I sighed softly and I stood up slowly, walking inside to grab my bag, a napkin and my water bottle. I quickly drank something and I felt Sapnap looking at me. 'Isn't this the second time today?'

I shrugged. 'Stomach bug,' I whispered. I grabbed all my stuff and quickly walked away, just to lock myself up in the bathroom. I didn't want to go home, but no one would allow me to stay here when I threw up twice. I lifted my knees up as I sat down in the stall. Within just a few seconds the tears started streaming down my face.

I honestly hated my parents. Just because my dad left and my mum let me do everything in the house I was now like this. I needed pills to live my life and it was going way too far. But even if I realised that it was going too far, I couldn't stop with it. I needed my pills to keep getting out of my bed.

1015 words