" 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 ,, || killugon oneshots

𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝

3rd Person POV:
"I'm going... to be leaving you soon."

"What??"

He took a shuddering breath. "I don't... h-have a choice, Gon."

"Why?? Why not? Why do you have to leave?"

"You don't need me anymore."

"Who told you that, Killua?!"

With the saddest look in his ocean blue eyes, filled to the brim with tears, Killua looked up at Gon.

Gon's breath hitched.

"I'm sorry." Killua said, in barely a whisper.

"No, no, y-you can't leave! You're my best friend!"

"I-..." Killua clenched his fist and looked down, shaking as tears fell onto the floor.

Gon began to cry as well.

"Listen, Gon, I don't want to leave you. I never have, I never will. But I can't choose anymore!" His voice grew louder near the end of his sentence.

Killua was completely distraught.

"I can't s-stay in y-your life. S-So please.." He shook, sobbing.

"Please let me stay by you until I can't anymore."

"Killua...."

Now would be the perfect time to confess his feelings, when he couldn't care less about feeling embarrassed or even being rejected, seeing as he would be excluded from Gon's life forever afterwards.

But he couldn't do that to Gon

Not on the chance of hope
That Gon returns his feelings.

He wouldn't hurt his best friend any longer after this

No point in leaving such a bitter aftertaste.

In an instant, Killua had crossed the few feet between them and wrapped Gon in a hug.

"Please... D-Don't let me go."

Gon brought his arms around his best friend.

"I won't." He told him firmly.

Killua tightened the hug, Gon reciprocating.

"In another world
He could be holding me like this
As more than friends
And we wouldn't be saying
Goodbye
I don't want to say goodbye
I never want to say goodbye!!"

Killua's thoughts were so loud, his thoughts expressed on his face as his eyes kept widening.

There was only one choice to make:

Confess now, and leave Gon forever
or
Repress it and maybe it'll die

"G-Gon..."

*"What am I doing?"*

Gon pulled back a little so they were face to face. Killua was looking down.

"I have... something I've wanted to tell you for a long time."

"Yeah?" He prompted.

The silver haired boy inhaled, then slowly exhaled.

"I..."

Gon tilted his head to the side in slight confusion.

"I-I'm sorry, but I-"

"You don't want to be friends with Gon. You just want to see how long it takes before you want to kill him."

Illumi's words echoed in Killua's head.

"No, you're wrong." Killua thought.

Out of spite towards Illumi, Killua looked up.

Before him stood Gon Freecss
His best friend
The boy with the black hair
Brown eyes
And a smile that radiated like sunshine.

The boy who wanted to become a Hunter
Just like his father
Without ever having met him

His first friend
The light in his life

The boy who showed Killua
What love felt like
Without trying to

And the boy
Who Killua was prepared to die for, or die with.

The boy he was forced to leave.

"Damnit, Biscuit..." He thought.

"I'm sorry, Gon.. b-but... I love you."

"You l-love me, Killua?"

Despite Killua's worry that he might have done something wrong, he nodded.

"Well, why are you sorry?"

"Huh?"

Gon smiled, slowly and softly.

"I don't think you should be sorry."

"But I have to leave—"

"I know... but it's not forever, right?"

A single tear fell down Killua's cheek.

He didn't know if it was forever.

And it scared him that it could be.

"I don't— I don't know if it's forever..."

"So don't be sad!"

Gon was unsure of how love worked, but he was certain of one thing: he felt a great love for Killua. He did know there was a difference between platonic and romantic love, but he never noticed how his love for Killua had shifted.

"It's not forever, so... I promise I'll see you again!"

Killua's eyes welled with tears once again, but this time, out of happiness. He smiled.

"You truly are light, Gon."

Gon gasped slightly. "What?"

"You are light."

Killua grabbed one of Gon's hands and held it, placing the other on his cheek and pressing their foreheads together.

"You're my light."

Everything had fallen into place.

And Killua proved his elder brother wrong.

An assassin could learn to have friends and care.

Because he learned to love.

A/N: this one was really cute to write, i had a lot of fun with it! the forehead touch at the end was because i didn't want to/know how to write a kiss scene lol