A/N: some trigger warnings for this chapter! allusions to suicide and self harm. (this is also really really short)
[ ~ ]
"Oh all I ever wanted was a
Life in your shape
So I follow the white lines
Follow the white lines
Keep my eyes on the road
As I ache
Look at you, strawberry blond
Fields rolling on
I love it when you call my name"
[ ~ ]
All Killua ever wanted was an easier life. He never wanted to be an assassin, and he sure as hell never wanted to go through the required training for it. He wondered if it was really worth anything, and more than once had considered ending his life just so he wouldn't have to endure the torture anymore. As much as he loved to pretend that it didn't bother him, some days, living in that house drove him to the point of wanting to slit his own throat with his claws.
That was, until, he met Gon Freecss, and they became best friends. After that, it seemed ridiculous that he'd wanted himself gone. Though at first he didn't feel deserving of friends, was he really about to rob himself of the privilege of meeting Gon?
Until he realized how much easier Gon had it, and unwanted jealousy sprouted. He concealed it extremely well, but it was still there. And he hated it, and hated himself for it.
But when the jealousy subsided, all that was left was pure admiration for Gon. Killua would follow that boy everywhere and anywhere. And it hurt to think how amazing he was, because Killua just couldn't comprehend why that was. But he also didn't want to understand, he simply wanted to be. Be with Gon.
And he'd felt that so strongly after a while, when Gon would call Killua's name, it would send shivers up his spine, and butterflies into frenzies in his stomach. Killua hated how this made his cheeks pink and red, but he loved how it felt to hear Gon say his name. And he couldn't understand why, again. But that wasn't really important, so long as Gon didn't stop calling his name.
Killua would go through a thousand lifetimes worth of training if it meant Gon would call his name the way he always did.
Gon was his strawberry blond.
A/N: okay the ending doesnt make sense???? idk how to tie anything in anymore 😭😭
but to those of you who are kinda sick of me writing things akin to angst, the next one shot is something far from and something hopefully you all will enjoy !!
tysm for reading, bye bye now !!
YOU ARE READING
" 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 ,, || killugon oneshots
Fanfic" gon . . . you are light ,, killugon oneshots requests are now open ! but no smut 😃 " sometimes , you shine so brightly , i must look away . . . ,, slow updates not all chapters will have major character death warnings ! rated mature for swearing...
