" 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 ,, || killugon oneshots

𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚜𝚒𝚜

A/N: mild spoilers for the ending of the show, but nothing huge mentioned ! as with most of my one shots, this is post ending.

enjoy !

3rd Person P.O.V.

Gon was some weird form of catharsis for Killua. And truthfully, that scared him.

Because once he was relieved, he was scared that this would be taken away.

And soon enough, it was.

The two longest yet shortest years of his life was all he had had with Gon, but they were enough to make him realize that Gon was just what he needed. A medicine no doctor could prescribe.

Because really, how could you remedy all of the trauma and abuse Killua had undergone?

Why, of course, give him a ray of sunshine for a best friend!

And that plan couldn't have backfired, right? 

Well, it shouldn't have. But the universe has a funny way of doing things.

Killua thought he was just a little over attached, and this was what Illumi would be mad about. because he had human attachment to someone who wasn't a Zoldyck.

But nope, the truth of the matter would have pissed the eldest Zoldyck son so much more. 

And while Killua didn't really know until he had thought of Gon as light, he was in love with his best friend.

He was too deep in.

But would anyone really want to back out of something like that?

Maybe. But only because they would deem themselves unworthy, or not good enough.

And while Killua didn't think he was worthy of being Gon's friend, let alone anything more than that, Gon wouldn't have had it any other way.

Gon loved being Killua's best friend, and cherished him dearly. He'd go to great lengths to hear his best friend laugh, to know that he was the reason that delightful sound was made.

and Gon didn't know for a very long time that Killua had fallen in love with him.

He also didn't know that he himself was in love with Killua, either.

Emotions and labeling them were very hard for Gon, even more complicated than math. The complex chemicals in his brain didn't register in his thought process, and they didn't feel important enough to prioritize understanding them. All he knew was that Killua made him happy. And that he made Killua happy, and that was enough. 

For each other, they were enough. And that was all Gon cared about.

Killua had made up his mind once he really knew he was in love with Gon.

In short, to him, there was no way they'd work out.

And while Gon was catharsis for Killua, the purest and easiest form of therapy, there was no possible way the thick headed boy could understand.

Killua could never consider a serious relationship with him at the age of 13, when he finally realized what he felt for Gon. It was truthfully an abnormal thought to have been in love, but to be in a relationship with Gon, at this age? Absolutely ridiculous. He'd mentally cursed himself for ever considering such a thing.

But the idea of any relationship at all made his stomach erupt in butterflies, his heart race, and waves of pink and scarlet to take over his cheeks.

It wasn't that Killua consciously fantasized and entertained the idea.

But subconsciously? He had dreamt about it a few times. Images of them holding hands, cuddling, and perhaps, kissing weren't totally uncommon for Killua when he was asleep.