A/N: BIG spoilers for the chimera ant arc up ahead, so if you haven't seen it, please click off right now. also, major character death warning because we angsty like that
it is 4 am the birds are chirping for some reason and i have decided to bestow this upon you, unlucky reader.
deepest apologies, my mind is incredibly and thoroughly fucked.
also yes it's another fucking monologue only this time it's a broken thought pattern because killua is broken <3
Killua's POV
i don't
know
what to do
how is
he
dead
no
he
promised
me
we
were
in
this
together
it's
my
fault
i shouldn't
have left
kite
behind
to die
no
that's not where our problems started
it's all because of me.
if i
hadn't
talked to him
ever
in the first place
then he
wouldn't
have
died
i'm so
sorry
please
forgive
me
you were all i had
all i loved
no
please
come back
for the people who deserve you
and loved you properly
could i maybe
trade my life
for yours?
i'm better off dead anyways
it won't
solve anything
but
i'll get rid of myself anyways
i said i was ready to go down in flames with you
a double suicide.
shinjuu
a lovers
suicide
it's supposed to be
by the same method
but seeing as
you're dead
that isn't an option
i don't even deserve
to be with you
in the afterlife
so if i see you
i'll have to apologize
and then
leave you alone
so your soul may rest
who am i kidding?
i don't even deserve the release of death
i deserve to suffer
is this what illumi meant
when he said i'd only betray my friends?
i should have been
faster
stronger
anything that would have saved you
i'm sorry
A/N: WELL WHAT WAS A HUGE FUCKING YIKES <3
i might edit this chapter, wattpad's weird formatting kinda fucked with how i originally wrote it and now it's spaced all wonky smh
anyways yeah i need mental help why do i keep writing these things
YOU ARE READING
" 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 ,, || killugon oneshots
Fanfiction" gon . . . you are light ,, killugon oneshots requests are now open ! but no smut 😃 " sometimes , you shine so brightly , i must look away . . . ,, slow updates not all chapters will have major character death warnings ! rated mature for swearing...
