Snape X reader -a fine line-

Chapter 35

A week or two went by and Dumbledore announced everyone about her death a while ago. She begged Snape to inform her how her friends and family reacted and he gave in after almost a day of (Y/N) following him around in his quarters and nagging in his ear. He didn't want to tell her how they reacted to her death because it sounded so gruesome.

Her family was devastated as she could already guess. Even though her father didn't show it that much, he certainly didn't want her child to die because of Hogwarts. Dumbledore had even gotten into a big argument with the man about how Hogwarts isn't safe and it should be closed.

In the meantime, Snape and (Y/N) had fallen into some sort of routine every morning and evening. He was gone every afternoon to teach classes except for the weekends which were spent in silent reading with her in the sitting room. It was nothing how she had expected living with him would be. She wasn't complaining though. Their friendship had grown stronger over those days and people might even describe them as friends if you saw them walking in the grocery store on a sunny saturday afternoon, not that Snape would visit grocery stores.

They had gotten drunk a few more times but never that much as that time. The time where he let those three words slip while half passed out, the time she had kept hidden from him. Furthermore, her mental health had declined after the announcing of Dumbledore because she knew it could last up to even years.

(Y/N) even had a relapse after so many weeks of being clean. It was the second day after Snape had begun teaching classes again and she had felt so alone. She wasn't thinking straight either. It didn't matter because the cuts were healed again and she swore to herself to keep trying. Snape had found (Y/N) in the bathroom after his final class and she had felt the warm, long arms wrapping around her body while he began saying things she couldn't hear. She was on the verge of having a black out by the loss of blood but soon woke up laying in her bed with a pounding headache and bandaged wrapped around her wrists. Snape was sitting next to her on a chair holding her hand which he immediately let go when her eyelids started to flutter open. There had been some tension between them the last couple of days too and it could be crushing sometimes. It was intense. He was intense. His black eyes seeing right through her as they sat in the living room reading a book. He had the ability to see when something was wrong and she wondered how. He hadn't tried using legilimens on her because she had gotten some private lessons for fun and now knew how to push him out of her head. Well, most of the time she succeeded but sometimes she felt him creeping inside what mostly led out to an argument about her privacy. Other times were just for fun and led out to hysterical laughter and even a few huffs from Severus, when he was drunk it would be laughter too which created a warm pool in her belly.

'Want some?' He gestured towards the mug in his hand. It was almost midnight and Snape had promised they would watch a muggle movie today. He had drastically disagreed with the idea to watch a movie on one of those screens but he had lost the bet they made over a certain student in his class. He actually had high hopes for this Ravenclaw girl but she somehow managed to make the potion wrong which made her win. Her reward was a muggle movie picked by her, popcorn, hot chocolate milk and blankets and pillows surrounding them on the floor.

'I can't believe you convinced me into doing this. What if I suddenly dropped death and was found like this.' Snape grimaced and returned to the kitchen to get the popcorn. (Y/N) had already picked: Love actually as a movie and covered the ground with pillows and blankets. Her chocolate mug with whipped cream was on the small table on the side with his mug next to it, without the whipped cream.

'Admit it. You love it.' She said as soon as he got back out of the kitchen with the popcorn.

'I can assure you 'I do not love it' as you state it.' She rolled her eyes with a smirk on her face and Severus sat down.

'I don't believe I've ever seen you sit down on the floor before,' she giggled.

'Don't make it a habit,' he stated. Severus pulled one blanket over them and layed the bowl of popcorn in the middle, between body's. It felt like some sort of wall which refused her to shuffle closer to him. They started the film and Snape kept making comments about how that was impossible and: this is dumb. She secretly knew he loved it and halfway through the movie, he kept his mouth shut and watched the screen thoughtfully.

Once the credits rolled down, the popcorn was eaten, the mugs were empty and the pillows were laying everywhere.

'I've seen better movies,' he commented.

'Don't be silly. Didn't you think that that Harry guy looked a bit like you?' Snape snapped his head towards her and gave her an angry glare to shut her up.

'So, the funeral is tomorrow. Would you like me to come? I mean I know I'm supposed to be dead and all but you could give me some polyjuice.'

'Actually. Yes I would like that.' (Y/N) and Snape were both surprised by the answer. The popcorn bowl was now put on the other side of Snape's body and (Y/N) took the change to snuggle closer to him. Snape raised a questionable eyebrow when their body's touched and she laid her head on his shoulder but he didn't respond.

'I'm really grateful for you, you know.'

'What did I do to earn your gratitude, my majesty?' he snickered.

'For being there I guess.' Her relaxed his head and let it rest on top of hers while his arms wrapped around her waist to pull her even closer even though it physically wasn't possible.

'Same goes for you.' She let out a sigh and let her body depend on his arms.

'I know what I said that night.' (Y/N) had to think for a few seconds before it hit her. The night where he got ridiculously drunk and accidentally said those words? Were they even talking about the same thing?

'Oh,' was her only answer.

'Oh? That's all you have to say.' It went silent and she felt Snape take a deep breath against her, his heart beating in his chest.

'I'm not good with words.' (Y/N) palms began to sweat because she had no idea where this conversation was going.

'I've noticed,' she pointed out and the corners of his lip twitched.

'I want you to know that even in my drunk state that night, I wouldn't have said that if it wouldn't be true.' (Y/N) stiffed in his arms and he must have noticed because he pulled her away to look in her eyes.

'I understand if you want to stay with someone else if it makes you uncomfortable. I could talk to Dumbledore and-' She cut him off from the words he was about to say.

'No!' Her voice was raising slightly and had an angry tone which made Snape wonder why she would be angry with him.

'No. I don't want to leave,' she whispered.