Forever Young

Chapter 13

The world was dark. And I couldn't breathe.

Slashing at the walls around me, I struggled with all of my might to escape. My lungs screamed at me, pleading with me to take a breath in. 

I'm trying! Can't you see I'm trying?

Then there was a slit of light, and I reached for it. Gasping and crying as hands picked me up under my arms, I was finally able to breathe. But why was I so cold? And why was it so bright? 

A blurry face peered down at me, and for a second I didn't understand as Edward's eyes came close to mine. Why was he so much bigger than me? And why did I feel happy at the sight of him, despite the horror I had just endured? But then it clicked.

I was asleep. And this wasn't my dream. 

 I woke up with a gasp, sitting upright and tumbling to the floor in my haste to get away from Renesmee. The blankets were tangled around my feet, though, and a panicked growl escaped me as I kicked them away so hard, the fabric gave way, shredding the comforter in half.

"Ammie?" Nessie was awake now, her eyes wide as she extended her hand out to me. I hissed at her, fighting off the memories that this demon had just forced upon me by remembering her own birth.

The darkness. Gasping for breath. Trying to escape.

'It's okay, baby!' My Mother's voice was breathless, sounding like she as trying to stay calm through terrible pain. 'We can survive this. I know we can. I love you. I love-'

I knew we were dying. Both of us. Mommy because she was unwilling to kill me to save herself. And me, because I was unwilling to rip through her stomach, sentencing her to an agonizing end.

Then a slit of light appeared. The tip of a knife blade as my Mother cut a gaping hole in her own stomach, freeing me. Her piercing scream at the initial pain, followed by a gurgling gasp as I managed to pull myself towards the light.

"Camellia!" Renesmee's voice was frantic now as I fell to my knees, struggling to force down the memories. But I couldn't. I couldn't fight them. I couldn't see. I couldn't breathe. Just like before, I was suffocating, dying.

"Ammie, please! Mommy, Daddy, help!"

My Mother's face beside me as we both lay on the ground, too weak to move. Blood spilling from her mouth and nose. Her eyes struggling to focus on me. 

'I love you, baby. It isn't your fault. I lo-". My Mother's final words. Forgiving me for hurting her. For breaking her. For killing her.

Monster.

Hands were on me now, trying to pull me from the floor. With a hysterical scream, I struggled against them, instinctively using wind to push them off of me and then scrambling away. There were lots of faces around me, staring. So I ran to the only safe place I knew.

Leaping across the room, I bolted into Carlisle's arms, clinging to him tightly as I frantically sobbed. He could make it better right? He could always make things better.

"I'm sorry," I screamed, hoping he would understand. Hoping he could see that I didn't want to be a monster. I hadn't meant to. It was an accident. I didn't mean to.

Maybe I had been silly to think they wanted me here. I couldn't live in a house with them. They couldn't care about me, not once they found out what I had done. I was alone for a reason. Monsters didn't get to have a home or friends or family.

Another hand touched me, but this one wasn't Carlisle's. It was a foreign touch, one I didn't recognize. In my heightened state of panic, I turned with a snarl, hoping to send a clear message to the person touching me.